Few television characters are as legendary as Homer Simpson. As the lazy, dim-witted and short-fused father of the Simpson family, Homer has been a pop culture fixture for decades. We have followed him on many adventures, from the show’s very beginning to the less satisfying later seasons. And through it all, he has always made us laugh.
Though Homer might not be the perfect husband or father, he is a constant source of amusement. He is responsible for some of the funniest television moments of all time, even if we’re often laughing at him rather than with him. Here are some Homer Simpson quotes that are still hilarious today.
To Start Press Any Key’. Where’s The ANY Key?
You would think that someone who works as a safety inspector of a nuclear power plant might be tech literate. To be fair, there are a lot of qualifications for that job that Homer doesn’t meet and the technology side of things is just one small area.
After securing his dream job of working from home, Homer sets up at the home computer. Ready to get started, he is immediately thrown off by the first command on the screen. He then tops his own stupidity by hitting the TAB key to order a drink.
I Think It Was Called “The Bus That Couldn’t Slow Down.”
Homer’s stupid is a thing of amazement at times. He is so oblivious to the world around him that he almost accidentally stumbles on the right answer before blowing right past it. This even extends to simple things like remembering the name of a movie.
As Homer explains, “I saw this movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode!” He decides the title of the movie was “The Bus That Couldn’t Slow Down”. So close.
Captain What’s-His-Name
We’ve seen Homer get mad plenty of times, especially at Bart. But despite his rage, he is not much of a disciplinarian. Even when he is trying to lecture his kids, his confused rantings are hard to take too seriously.
When Bart is caught shoplifting, Homer is legitimately angry, but he can’t quite get his point across. He yells at Bart “Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain What’s-His-Name?” Maybe Bart wasn’t the only one not paying attention in church.
To Alcohol! The Cause Of, And Solution To, All Of Life’s Problems
Is it possible that Homer is secretly smart after all? Probably not, but even a broken clock is right twice a day and Homer can, at times, say something that is at least a little profound. It makes sense that his words of wisdom relate to beer, something he thinks about a lot.
After a brief era of prohibition is ended in Springfield, Homer triumphantly raises a glass of beer and shares his throughs – “To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.” It’s a funny examination of alcohol with more than a little truth to it.
Batman’s A Scientist
Homer might primarily be a nuclear power plant employee, but for a lazy man, he sure has taken on a lot of different jobs. As it turns out, one of his shortest and most dangerous career paths was as the conductor of Springfield’s first monorail.
Designed by a shady businessman, the monorail almost immediately malfunctions, causing it to take off at dangerous speeds. Marge finds the scientist who built the first monorail and tells Homer she has someone who can help. Homer immediately guesses it’s Batman and when Marge explains it’s a scientist, Homer points out “Batman’s a scientist.”
The Lesson Is, Never Try
Homer loves his children very much, but he’s not going to be named father-of-the-year anytime soon. Perhaps due to his limited knowledge or his laziness, Homer is not filled with the kind motivating pep talks you’d want from a father.
When Mr. Burns is looking for an heir, the Simpsons kids try to impress the right old man but, as Homer points out to them, they failed miserably. Along with that bunt criticism, Homer imparts the lesson that he seems to live his own life by, “never try“.
No TV And No Beer Make Homer Something Something
While Homer is unhinged in a regular episode of The Simpsons, the Treehouse of Horror specials allow him to really show off his wild side. One of the best segments from the show’s Halloween episodes is the parody of The Shining with Homer in the role of Jack Torrance.
In a recreation of the classic scene from the movie, Marge finds Homer’s written ramblings which say “No TV and no beer make Homer go crazy.” Yet Homer can’t quite think of the right title for it until Marge suggests “go crazy?” and the deranged Homer responds “Don’t mind if I do!“
I’m Normally Not A Praying Man, But If You’re Up There, Please Save Me, Superman
As we see with the Captain What’s-His-Name remark, Homer is not really a man of religion. That’s probably mostly due to his own laziness rather than putting actual thought into any kind of belief. But in his hour of need, he is willing to turn to a higher power.
Finding himself in yet another dangerous situation with his life on the line, Homer looks to the skies and prays to the one man who can help him. To be totally fair to Homer, Jesus and Superman do have a lot in common.
You’ll Have To Speak Up I’m Wearing A Towel
Sometimes the things Homer does are so hilariously unusual that you could spend hours considering how he got himself in that position. His stupidity brings up so many questions to which we may never know the answers.
When Bart’s school calls him at work, Homer runs to the phone in a towel around his waist and answers it, remaking “You’ll have to speak up I’m wearing a towel”. Why was he wearing a towel at work? Why would wearing a towel affect his hearing in any way? So many questions.
I Am So Smart. S-M-R-T
This quote might be the perfect summation of Homer Simpson. It is also one of the quotes that can get lodged in your head forever.
Shockingly, Homer has never had any secondary education. However, when he is accepted to college, he waists no time in setting his high school diploma on fire and declaring himself a genius. As the diploma fire spreads across the house behind him, Homer sings “I am so smart” while misspelling ‘smart’ for good measure.
