A show like The Office practically invented hilarious one-liners. Michael Scott’s questionable decision-making inspired hilariously raw responses, which became beloved quotes by fans of the sitcom. But Michael wasn’t the only one with priceless lines.
Dwight’s intensity for life prompted Jim and Pam to react in the best kind of way. Sarcasm and pure shock carved the path for some of the best one-liners in the show. After nine seasons and over 200 episodes there almost too many one-liners that have taken the form of memes, gifs, t-shirts, and tattoos alike.
“Boom, Roasted.”
When Dwight had the office stressed from a fake fire, Michael wanted to create a roast to boost morale. While sitting on a throne, Dunder Mifflin’s employees got up on stage and roasted Michael by saying everything they hated about him. Sadly for Michael, the roast was too harsh and it hurt him. He took some time away from work to gather his thoughts before coming back to Dunder Mifflin with a new mindset. He decided to roast the office in return by rattling off a list of insults. After each insult, he said “Boom, roasted,” which had the entire office in giggles.
“Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica.”
In “Product Recall,” Jim wanted to pull the ultimate prank on Dwight by dressing and acting like him. With his hair parted and his glasses shining, he asked Dwight “What kind of bear is best?” When Dwight responded seriously, Jim replied as Dwight, which irritated him.
Dwight quickly realized what Jim was doing and made sure he knew that identity theft wasn’t a joke. But that wasn’t before Jim said “Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica.” Dwight, of course, ran to complain to Michael afterward.
“Did I Stutter?!”
When Michael tried getting Stanley involved in a meeting, Stanley would rather be doing literally anything else. After ignoring Michael time and time again, Stanley eventually screamed, “Did I stutter?” in front of the entire office. Michael was speechless and tried playing it off like it was a joke, but it was clearly not. Michael was upset for the entire day before having enough courage to talk to Stanley about what happened. They agreed that they will probably never respect each other but they can get along for the sake of work.
“$7,000 For A Cat? I Could Get You A Kid For That.”
Leave it to Creed to talk about complete nonsense while making viewers laugh in confusion. His coworkers didn’t always understand or respect Creed but fans chuckled at his eccentric ways. In one episode, Angela told the office that a new member of the Martin family had joined her circle — a cat named Princess Lady.
When she was asked how much she spent on this cat, she claimed it was $7,000. In response, Creed told her that for $7,000 he could have gotten her a kid instead of a cat. Something deep down feels like he could have followed through on this statement…
“I Declare Bankruptcy!”
Jan and Michael couldn’t have been more different from each other but they gave their relationship a try. It lasted far longer than anyone expected but it wasn’t a happy union. With Jan being out of work, she spent most of Michael’s money and didn’t seem to care that he was struggling. It wasn’t until Michael took a second job that Jan realized how bad the financial situation was. With Oscar’s help, Michael declared bankruptcy by literally screaming it to the office. He assumed that declaring it out loud was all that he had to do to get the help that he needed.
“Yeah, I Have A Lot Of Questions. Number One: How Dare You?”
When Ryan left Scranton for the corporate office in New York, he broke up with Kelly for a new start. But when he came back to Scranton for a meeting, Kelly did everything she could to show off and make him jealous.
In one scene, Ryan asked his former coworkers if there were any questions. Kelly raised her hand and simply said, “Yeah, I have a question. How dare you?” Ryan ignored her but it’s a moment that fans can’t forget.
“Nope, It’s Not Ashton Kutcher. It’s Kevin Malone!”
Something magical comes over Kevin when he wears his toupée. He has confidence and feels like his best self. In an attempt to meet a cute woman at Jim and Pam’s wedding, Kevin wore his toupée to make him appear more youthful. While talking to the cameras, he excitedly said, “It’s not Ashton Kutcher, it’s Kevin Malone!” At that moment, Kevin felt as handsome as the Hollywood A-lister and thought his coworkers would think the same.
“You Couldn’t Handle My Undivided Attention”
If there’s one thing Michael should have learned after working with Dwight, it’s how intense and serious he can be.
In one scene, Michael demanded Dwight’s undivided attention but the joke was on him. Dwight assured Michael that he couldn’t “handle” his undivided attention. Realistically, Dwight was probably right.
“Why Are You The Way That You Are?”
Michael’s hatred towards Toby provided plenty of iconic lines. Something came over Michael whenever Toby was around or spoke up in meetings. Michael loathed everything about Toby — especially when he tried to take the fun moments out of the office.
In the episode “Casino Night,” Toby told Michael that his big plans for an office casino night would need some serious changes. No Boy Scouts were allowed to join the fundraiser because there would be gambling, alcohol, and food catered by Hooters. Michael dryly asked Toby, “Why are you the way that you are?” Imagining a boss saying this to an HR rep is unfathomable.
“I Feel God In This Chili’s Tonight”
Pam may have been a receptionist for most of The Office but she was more or less a babysitter for her colleagues and boss. Had it not been for Pam, Michael could have gotten himself into a world of hurt. The same can be said for Dwight and even Meredith or Creed. However, in “The Dundies,” Pam let loose from her office duties and had too much to drink during the awards ceremony. When she won an award for her white sneakers, she told the crowd that she felt God in that Chili’s. The look on Jim’s face said it all.
