Chuck Lorre’s The Kominsky Method recently won two Golden Globes for Michael Douglas’s performance as Sandy Kominsky and for its comedy. Unlike some of Lorre’s other work on The Big Bang Theory and Two and a Half Men, The Kominsky Method isn’t a light-hearted comedy. It has great depth and shines a light on darker moments as we age.
Starring best friends Sandy Kominsky and Norman Newlander, the show follows their lives for two seasons. With both men presumably being in their 60’s or 70’s, we see the issues that follow age. Death, retirement, money issues, family discrepancies… The comedy/drama does an amazing job at relating to its viewers, and we’re taking a look at 10 of those moments.
ENLARGED PROSTATES
Actor and teacher Sandy Kominsky may act like a young man, but he’s not. Mentally, he’s all there and aspires to stay at the pace he’s always been at. But eventually, he realizes he can’t keep up anymore. After having some issues peeing (and not being able to pee), Sandy sucks it up and visits a doctor.
As it turns out, he has an enlarged prostate that was affecting the way he relieved himself. Seeing Sandy go through the pain of urination and then having the bravery to see someone about is incredibly raw for many of us who go through the same tennis match in our heads.
LOW LIBIDOS
Sandy once explained that even if he can’t have sex, he likes the idea of it being an option. He may be an older man, but he’s not dead, and he still enjoys the company of an attractive woman. In this scenario, his student Lisa is that woman. Lisa is age-appropriate for Sandy and seems to have his best interest at heart.
But no matter how attracted Sandy is to Lisa, he has had some issues getting it up. His buddy Norman also has a similar issue when he begins dating again after the death of his wife. Being able to perform at an older age is intimidating, and Norman showed that fear beautifully.
THE TOPIC OF CANCER
As sad as it is, the topic of cancer is the elephant in the room as we get older. It’s disturbingly common, and we all know someone who has battled cancer or knows someone who was affected by cancer. In The Kominsky Method, we meet Norman’s wife, who lost her life to cancer.
The episodes where Norman loses her are incredibly gutting. Later in the second season, we learn that Sandy is also going through a small lung cancer scare, which is affecting his day-to-day life.
FAILING HEALTH
It’s not just cancer that’s a concerning topic for the old; it’s sickness in general. Both Sandy and Norman talk about the comparisons between being old and young. They even make fun of fellow old people because they somehow don’t feel that age (like Alex, the waiter).
We know that Sandy suffers from an enlarged prostate and lung cancer, but we also learn about addiction and mental illness from Norman’s daughter Phoebe. Not to mention Mindy’s older boyfriend, Martin, has his world crushed when he has a heart attack. Failing health seems to be an ongoing theme in this comedy/drama.
LIVING ALONE
Sandy enjoys living home alone because he can do whatever he wants. He can invite women over without walking on eggshells and has the luxury of designing his own home. After he gets sick, Mindy begins to worry about her frail father living alone and wants him to wear a Life Alert necklace. Norman, however, takes some time to get used to living alone after the death of Eileen.
He starts hearing voices in his head and makes Sandy sleepover, so he’s not alone. Likewise, at the end of the second season, we see Lisa having a hard time living in her house by herself and ends up wanting to sell it.
DRIVING TOO SLOW
Older people driving slow is a stereotype for a reason. Many men and women have trouble with their vision or get confused with directions, causing them to drive below the speed limit.
In The Kominsky Method, Norman falls into this stereotype and gets honked at for going too slowly. He even almost crashes into the car in front of him but thanks to his modern car, the alarm alerted him that he was close to an accident. Sandy is also seen cursing at his car when he can’t get his GPS voice to shut up.
WASTING YOUR LIFE AWAY
Both Sandy and Norman appear to have great lives. As an agent, Norman loves what he does and meets some pretty great people. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Sandy is an actor who may have been good in his youth but has fallen out of the scene as he aged. It’s hard to know if these two feel like they’ve wasted their lives but it feels like they’re happy with their paths. Martin, on the other hand, does not feel that way.
After his heart attack, Martin joined Sandy’s acting class to branch out a bit. And it was in this class where he realized he wasted his life doing things he didn’t love and wished he had a life he could be proud of. This general fear is relatable and frightening for those feeling the same.
PARENT AND CHILDREN DYNAMICS
It’s easy to see that sandy and Mindy didn’t have the closest relationship as she was growing up, but they appear to be making amends now. Mindy works at her father’s studio, and viewers learn how this dynamic can be both beneficial and hurtful for parents and their kids. For Norman, his relationship with his daughter Phoebe has always been horrendous.
As an addict, Phoebe took everything from her parents and felt zero remorse. We see her enter rehab and come out a changed person, but is it too late? Even for Lisa, her son Matthew seems protective over his mother but is pretty crude.
BEING A WIDOW AND DATING
Both Lisa and Sandy are divorced and seem to loathe their exes with passion. It’s hard to say this brings them closer together—because they don’t talk about their exes too much—but it makes for a cleaner slate for the two.
As for Norman, he’s a widow who is conflicted about the art of dating. He’s approached by a fellow widower who doesn’t want to be alone or take things slow and moves too fast for Norman. Luckily for him, he runs into an ex-girlfriend at a funeral who is also a widow and the two bond over their former spouses. Dating is hard enough as it is, but dating as a widower seems incredibly hard.
RETIREMENT
Sandy and Norman both entertain the idea of retirement in the second season. Norman never wanted to retire, but maybe the time has come. It’s a decision that weighs heavy on Norman as he loves working in showbusiness.
Sandy also dances with the idea of retirement only because his students seem to be growing tired of his quick temper and feels his daughter would be better suited as the owner. The idea of retirement is an admission that you’re getting older and may be too old to keep up at the same pace you did 20 years prior.
