George Costanza doesn’t have a lot of luck in many areas of his life, but romance is one particularly trying subject for him. While he has had a number of girlfriends on Seinfeld, he’s quite effective at losing them quickly. But his approach to women is not always so wrong.
George does not often find the right thing to say, but even a broken clock is right twice a day. He has delivered some pick-up lines that, while unorthodox, may have actually worked. On the other hand, he has plenty that were bad ideas from the start. Here are some of George Costanza’s best and worst pick-up lines from Seinfeld.
Might Work: “God Bless You.”
George can be a pretty selfish guy, but on occasion, he does have moments of politeness. And as rare as they may be, they can go a long way in the right situation. While out to dinner with a married couple, the wife sneezes and George responds with “God bless you“.
Though a simple gesture, the woman is pleased to hear it since her husband didn’t care enough to say anything. For once, George looks like the good guy, and it even leads to the woman wanting to have an affair with him.
Never Would: “I Risked My Life To Make Sure That Exit Was Clear.”
One of George’s most iconic moments of shame was his over-the-top reaction to the fire at a children’s birthday party. While everyone was celebrating and having fun, George smelled smoke in the kitchen and proceeded to push women, children, and seniors out of the way in his mad dash to the exit.
Of course, George is not one to admit when he’s wrong, even when he is as wrong as this. He attempts to repaint the picture with him as the hero who sacrificed his own safety to lead the way. Needless to say, no one is buying that version of the story.
Might Work: “I Just Got Back From A Trip To The Galapagos Islands. I Was Living With The Turtles.”
Given that his own life is less than flattering, George sometimes likes to embellish the truth, stretch the facts or outright lie. When trying to woo a prospective girlfriend, he really outdoes himself by pretending he is a marine biologist.
When catching the woman up on his latest adventures, it feels like George is starting to believe his own lies himself. While it might all be fake, it certainly does sound pretty impressive at the moment — at least until he is eventually exposed as a fraud.
Never Would: “I Was In The Pool.”
George is very concerned with looking foolish but unfortunately for him, that is a very common occurrence. In one instance, it was the effects of a cold pool that cast him in a bad light, and he certainly didn’t help matters.
After going for a swim, George is walked in on by his girlfriend’s friend as he is changing. Her reaction to seeing him naked is not very flattering, and George immediately knows it is due to the obvious “shrinkage.” However, his panicked attempt to explain himself didn’t make him look any better.
Might Work: “You’re In Jail? That’s So Cool!”
George has a unique view of the world, and sometimes that can mean he appreciates things that others do not. When George is visiting a prison, he meets an attractive woman and is immediately taken with her, only to find out she is a prisoner.
Instead of being scared off, George is further impressed with the woman, and tells her how cool that is. While it might be a bit of an immature reaction, it also a nice thing for a convict to hear — and she becomes smitten with George as well.
Never Would: “Horse Manure’s Not That Bad.”
George does love a good conversation, but his topics of discussion are not always great for a date. There are things that he can talk to Jerry about that just don’t work as well with a woman he is trying to win over.
When walking in the park with a woman, George decides now is the time to bring up his love of horse manure, and explain why it’s not as bad as everyone thinks. While the woman feigns interest, she quickly brings up the fact that she has a boyfriend, and that ends the date.
Might Work: “I Would Like To Dip My Bald Head In Oil And Rub It All Over Your Body.”
George is not a man of great confidence, which is why so many of his relationships are built on lies. However, some people appreciate a partner who is direct with what they want and not afraid to say it. That’s usually not George, but he does find confidence when he meets a woman who doesn’t speak English.
Knowing he can speak his mind around her, George admits his greatest fantasy. It’s a kind of directness we don’t normally see from George, and if he embraced that side of his personality more, he might have better luck in the dating world.
Never Would: “I’m Sort Of Engaged.”
Despite all his shortcomings as a romantic partner, George managed to not only convince someone to get engaged to him, but he also ended up being an unlikely romantic match for Marisa Tomei. Unfortunately, those two instances happened to intersect.
George decides to sneak behind his fiancée Susan’s back and go on a date with Tomei. Remarkably, she seems very taken with him, and cannot believe he isn’t involved with someone already. He then admits the slight complication that he is engaged, and swiftly receives a punch in the face.
Might Work: “My Name Is George. I’m Unemployed And I Live With My Parents.”
If there is one thing that is important in any relationship, it is honesty. That certainly is not one of George’s strongest attributes, but when his life ends of going down the toilet, he decides to embrace the opposite of all his instincts.
This new outlook on life leads him to approach a beautiful woman in a café and confidently declare, “My name is George. I’m unemployed and I live with my parents”. That level of honesty proves to be the right move that wins the girl over.
Never Would: “But I’m Disturbed, I’m Depressed, I’m Inadequate. I Got It All.”
While honesty in one instance allowed George to score a date, too much honesty in another situation ruined a relationship for him. Wanting to look like the funny guy in the group in front of his new girlfriend, George asks Jerry to cool it on the humor. Of course, this backfires, and the girl becomes interested in dark and brooding Jerry.
When George realizes what happens, he tries to correct his mistake by admitting what he did and showing himself to be the truly disturbed one. Inevitably, that backfires as well, and he just comes off looking pathetic.
