Ranking The 10 Strange Things Lumalee Says In The Super Mario Bros. Movie

Lumalee, the cute little Luma who is Bowser’s prisoner throughout The Super Mario Bros. Movie, is a standout character because of his many strange lines throughout the film. Luigi, the Penguin King, Cranky Kong, and other fellow prisoners often find themselves confused and disturbed by Lumalee’s glee in the face of imprisonment and potential death. Lumalee has become iconic for his grim personality in the movie, an unexpected trait of such an adorable little creature with a childlike voice.

Lumalee was voiced by Juliet Jelenic, the eight-year-old daughter of Michael Jelenic, one of the co-directors of the film. The huge disparity between Lumalee’s nihilistic attitude and the cheerfulness with which he expresses himself has made him a comedic and memorable character despite having such a minor role in The Super Mario Bros. Movie. Every line of his is strange, but some are just a bit stranger than others.

10 “Home”

Lumalee’s first line in the film is when he greets Bowser’s newest prisoner, Luigi.

In The Super Mario Bros. Movie’s introduction of Lumalee’s character, he responds to Luigi asking, “Where am I?” after he is imprisoned by Bowser. Lumalee says “home” before giggling and spinning around in his cage-like jail cell, suspended over lava. While it is strange and unexpected to see Lumalee so happy despite being a prisoner, this is by far one of the least bizarre things Lumalee says in the movie.

9 “Time, Like Hope, Is An Illusion.”

Lumalee implies how long he’s been imprisoned.

When Luigi asks Bowser’s prisoners, “How long have you guys been in here?” Lumalee replies with, “Time, like hope, is an allusion.” The Penguin King, a fellow prisoner, laments that Lumalee’s remarks are only making him feel worse, saying, “Please, we are depressed enough.” Although it is unknown exactly why Lumalee is Bowser’s prisoner, this line gives the sense that Lumalee has been a prisoner for a very long time. While this is a strange and comical line that makes Lumalee sound like a sage of wisdom, it doesn’t come close to the strangeness of some other things he says in the movie.

8 “There Is No Escape… The Only Hope Is The Sweet Relief Of Death.”

Lumalee has an odd perception of death.

Lumalee replies, “There is no escape…the only hope is the sweet relief of death,” in response to Luigi’s plea that “there’s gotta be a way out of here.” What makes this line especially comedic is the way Lumalee playfully swings his cage back and forth and spins around while saying this line before widening his eyes and smiling to put emphasis on the word “death.” This line is the first time the movie hints at Lumalee’s desire to die in order to escape imprisonment. The way he says this with so much childlike glee makes it a hilariously strange line.

7 “Finally, Mercy.”

Lumalee doesn’t show fear.

Lumalee says the “Finally, mercy” line after Kamek, a Koopa sorcerer and assistant to Bowser, arrives to inform the prisoners that they will all be “ritualistically sacrificed” at Princess Peach and Bowser’s wedding. As the prisoners proceed to scream and rattle their cages in fear upon hearing the news, Lumalee just sighs, smiles dreamily, and says the line while lying down and floating toward the bottom of his cage. The massive disparity between Lumalee’s reaction and that of the rest of the prisoners in The Super Mario Bros. Movie is what makes this line especially strange and funny.

6 “Whee” & “Boo”

Lumalee further proves he isn’t afraid of a grim fate.

As the prisoners are slowly lowered towards lava (and towards certain death), Lumalee cheers “whee” and waves his hands in a snow-angel-like motion. When Donkey Kong arrives and saves their lives, Lumalee’s expression goes flat, and he says “boo.” These lines are so odd because although Lumalee shows enthusiasm earlier in The Super Mario Bros. Movie towards the idea of dying in order to escape imprisonment, these lines show just how much he means it. In fact, these lines show that Lumalee would rather die than be freed, adding to the hilarity and strangeness of his character.

5 “In An Insane World, It Is The Sane Who Is Called Crazy.”

Lumalee’s actions are a nod to the video games.

Lumalee utters, “In an insane world, it is the sane who is called crazy,” in response to the Penguin King, who tells Luigi to pay no mind to him because he is cute but crazy. This line is peculiar because it’s the first time Lumalee is seen with items in his cell. While he says this line, he wistfully blows the top off of a pinwheel toy before it falls into the lava below. Seeing Lumalee with items aligns with his role as an item shop in the Super Mario Galaxy video game.

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Surely, if Lumalee can conjure up items, such as a pinwheel toy, he can figure out how to escape, yet he is still imprisoned. Perhaps this shows that Lumalee doesn’t actually want to escape, despite what he says. He seems content to say philosophical things like this instead of figuring out how to escape, believing that his outlook on the world is more logical than that of his fellow prisoners. This dissonance is what makes Lumalee such a lovable and memorable character.

4 “Life Is Sad. Prison Is Sad. Life In Prison Is Very, Very Sad.”

Lumalee keeps reminding that he’s accepted his fate.

Lumalee sings, “Life is sad. Prison is sad. Life in prison is very, very sad” while dancing around in his cage and gleefully popping bubbles he has blown with the bubble wand in his hand, another item he has miraculously conjured up. The dissonance between what he says and how he says it is at its peak with this line, making this perhaps the funniest Lumalee line in The Super Mario Bros. Movie. Not only has Lumalee accepted his fate as a prisoner, but he also seems happy despite claiming that being a prisoner is sad.

3 “There’s No Sunshine, Only Darkness.”

Lumalee could have escaped the entire time.

When Cranky Kong becomes Bowser’s prisoner, he remarks, “who’s this ray of sunshine?” in response to Lumalee’s strange amount of glee. Lumalee then replies with, “There’s no sunshine, only darkness,” while sprinkling glitter in the air. The dissonance between the grim nature of what he says and the wistful joy with which he says it is something that makes this line so strange and so funny.

The oddest thing about this line, however, is the fact that Lumalee fully leans out of his cage in order to say this, proving that he could easily escape by simply flying out of the cage. This shows that Lumalee has either somehow convinced himself that he can’t escape or he truly doesn’t want to escape, despite what he says. Either way, the revelation that escape is very easy and possible for Lumalee through this line is yet another strange and hilarious addition to his character.

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2 “Now That’s A Happy Ending, Or Is It?”

Lumalee gets a final chance to shine in his own scene before the credits roll.

After the title card at the end of The Super Mario Bros. Movie, Lumalee gets the screen to himself and delivers this message to the audience:

He approaches the camera menacingly as he says this before backing away, spinning playfully, playing the “Ground Theme” from the Super Mario Bros. video game on a saxophone, and winking at the camera. This line is so strange for a few different reasons. For one, this is the only moment when Lumalee breaks the fourth wall and addresses the audience directly. This line is also bizarre because it shows that Lumalee still has his cheerfully nihilistic attitude even after he has, presumably, been freed.

Maybe this shows that Lumalee has always had his characteristic nihilism, even before he was imprisoned. It’s also possible his personality was changed after being Bowser’s prisoner for so long. Either way, this line gave Lumalee another opportunity to charm the audience. Strangely enough, Lumalee helps to end the film on a cheerful note by serenading the screen with his saxophone, which begins the music that continued playing into the credits.

1 “Oh, Fresh Meat For The Grinder.”

Lumalee finds joy in terror.

Lumalee declares, “Oh, fresh meat for the grinder” to Cranky Kong and his fellow Kongs when they become prisoners of Bowser. He smiles, spins around, and spins his cage as he says this. This is by far Lumalee’s strangest line because the lack of context provided along with the line makes it especially unsettling. What grinder? Calling the prisoners “meat” implies that Bowser may grind up and eat his prisoners.

This suggestion adds another level of terror to the predicament Bowser’s prisoners are in, making Lumalee’s joy in the face of such extreme terror even more shocking and hilarious. The fact that no further elaboration is ever given to what Lumalee meant by this makes it that much more terrifying and funny. All of this considered, there’s no doubt that this line deserves the title of the most unusual Lumalee line in The Super Mario Bros. Movie.