Dick Wolf’s Law & Order: Special Victims Unit is one of the top favorites amongst fans. It has a long run of 21 seasons on air. Many can agree that some of the show’s best episodes were from the beginning seasons that included Elliot Stabler (Christopher Meloni) as Olivia Benson’s (Mariska Hargitay) partner. Elliot Stabler was a bit of a hothead but with a good heart that cared for victims and getting justice.
Audiences also got an inside look into his personal life with his family. Being an SVU detective was never easy and caused hardships with his wife and children. There were those times when Stabler stepped up as a husband and father as well as those when his personal issues got the best of him in SVU.
Good: Tries To Teach Kathleen About Protecting Herself
Stabler’s relationship with his family isn’t so perfect. His overall personality and stress from work make life at home difficult. In the SVU episode prior, one of his daughters admits at the dinner table that one of her friends is pregnant. Stabler is upset due to working a case with a young girl. This prompts Elliot to try and talk to Kathleen about being smart.
He uses a soccer goal as a euphemism for Kathleen to always “guard her goal” and that players will always try to score. He later shows worry about his oldest daughter and her boyfriend. Years on the job have urged Stabler to always want to protect his daughters.
Bad: Forgets Maureen’s College Payment
Maureen (Erin Broderick) is the oldest daughter and the first to go off to college. Maureen had high hopes and planned on attending Columbia University. This is talked about in two episodes, “Pixies” and “Monogamy.” Maureen is a bright student and looked forward to starting a new chapter in her life.
Stabler became more focused on his job and forgot to send in the application check to Columbia. Maureen was crushed and was forced to instead attend Hudson University. A bit odd that Stabler would allow her to matriculate there after the endless amount of sexual assault cases from the university seen in many other SVU episodes.
Good: Maureen’s Possible Anorexia
There comes a time in most parents’ life that they worry that their children aren’t healthy enough. While eating dinner, Stabler starts to question Maureen’s eating habits and notices she’s not eating enough. He starts to worry that she might be on the road to anorexia. Thus, Stabler pushes her buttons.
What makes him a good father is his overall worry for his daughter. He later asks Dr. Elizabeth Olivet to explain the different stages of eating disorders and possible symptoms. Stabler realizes he is overreacting and that Maureen is healthy.
Bad: The Dani Drama
Stabler and his wife Kathy (Isabel Gillies) went through a separation at one point in the show. Kathy couldn’t deal with his inability to open up and his dedication to the job. There came a moment where Stabler wasn’t a good husband, even if he was separated. It was similar to Friends‘ Ross and Rachel’s “on a break” situation.
Stabler gets a new partner, Dani Beck (Connie Nielsen). He never made it clear to Dani that he was separated and they share a kiss. When Stabler gets wounded, Kathy is amicable with Dani but noticed them holding hands and is hurt. Stabler still had hopes of reconciling with Kathy.
Good: Stopped Dickie From Entering The Army
The episode “Turmoil” tested Stabler’s relationship with his son Dickie (Jeffrey Scaperrotta). A rape case spirals as Dickie and his friend become involved in another case. Dickie becomes upset over his father blaming his friend and for being a bad influence without getting to know him. The case gets worse when Dickie’s friend is killed.
By the end of the episode, Dickie is so distraught he argues with Stabler about joining the military with parental consent. Stabler, as a father, realizes he’s doing it out of anger and refuses. He then proclaims how much he loves his son and wants to protect him and consoles him.
Bad: Asked If Kathy’s Pregnancy Was His
Stabler is distraught over another SVU case in “Paternity.” The case leads to a father discovering that his son is not really his and leads to a custody war. The case gets into Stabler’s case and he starts to question Kathy’s pregnancy. While sitting in bed, Stabler asks Kathy if she was with anyone while separated.
She is reluctant to answer but does so. He then questions whether the baby is really his and Kathy feels hurt. As a partner, Elliot didn’t have the best timing in questioning Kathy’s loyalty. He then ends it with, “How would you feel if you found out that one of your children wasn’t yours.”
Good: Signed The Divorce Papers
There’s no question that Stabler loves his wife and his children. He would do anything to protect them. But his job and inability to express himself led Kathy to ask for a divorce. Stabler is unable to come to terms with it seeing as he has been with Kathy since they were teens.
A case involving a married couple accusing each other of rape and abuse while having a divorce shocks Stabler. He then realizes that love can turn into hate; someone can do horrible things to someone they love. Despite not wanting to let go, he signs the papers for Kathy’s happiness.
Bad: Used His Connections To Make Kathleen’s DUI Disappear
When Kathleen first gets in trouble with a DUI in “Blood,” Stabler does something that can be considered bad parenting. Instead of having Kathleen face her mistake and take accountability, he uses his badge to solve the problem. With his connections as a detective, he made the DUI charges disappear.
He later tries to help again by burning her license. Even if Stabler was trying to protect Kathleen, he ended up enabling her. She later gets charged with breaking and entering. In another episode, Stabler has to come clean and is forced to have Kathleen arrested for the DUI.
Good: Protected His Family From His Job
Being an SVU detective isn’t a simple job. It can be damaging to the psyche seeing victims of all ages being sexually mistreated. Children being molested, murdered rape victims and abuse are part of Stabler’s daily job. Seeing the cruelties of his job, Stabler refuses to bring it home with him.
He wants to save his children and wife from knowing how evil the world can really be. Maureen once saw a victim on fire and was traumatized while Stabler saw it as a normal occurrence. Stabler’s need to protect his family also comes with a downfall: he was unable to speak openly with his wife and children.
Bad: Couldn’t Come To Terms With Kathleen’s Diagnosis
The episode “Swing” really showed another side to Stabler. He responds to a break-in call and is shocked to find the perpetrator be his daughter. He again tries to explain away Kathleen’s crime to the homeowners. After another incident, he blames Kathy, but is then told at the hospital that Kathleen shows signs of being bipolar.
Stabler can’t come to terms with his daughter being “crazy” and shuts down. Instead of being there for his daughter, Stabler instead spirals seeing a similar pattern with his mother. In the end, he is forced to turn Kathleen in.
