It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia has always succeeded in creating secondary characters that are almost as fascinating as the Gang themselves. In the pantheon of such people, one figure stands out from the rest: the tragic figure known as Cricket. One of those unfortunate enough to have known the Gang in high school, his encounters with them almost inevitably lead to his progressive downfall.
Throughout the show’s fourteen seasons, the Gang has done some truly horrendous things to him, atrocities which have, by this time, left him as little more than a shell of his former self. One can’t help but feel sorry for him.
When Dennis And Mac Hunt Him
Even in a show that’s known for its depravity, the hunting of Cricket is something of a low for both Mac and Dennis. On the other hand, it’s also utterly unsurprising that they would choose Cricket for this particular activity, given that the fact that he seems so chronically unable to protect himself or, for the matter, to avoid the very people that he should know are always going to do something horrible to him.
The Wrestling Match
Once again, one can’t help but think that Cricket would do himself a lot of favors if he’d just avoid the Gang. Apparently, however, he is something of a glutton for punishment, and so he agrees to participate in a wrestling match. At first, he manages to get the better of them but then, in a horrifying twist, Frank hits him with a trash can and slashes his throat. It’s obviously not fatal, but it’s still one of the worst things that the Gang did to this unfortunate character.
Hatchet To The Arm
Some people just never learn, and Cricket appears to be one of those people. Thus it is that he finds himself in Mac and Dennis’s apartment for a Thanksgiving dinner which, as should surprise absolutely no one, rapidly goes sideways. A fight ensues, and Cricket manages to get a hatchet in his arm.
Once again, the Gang proves to at least be indirectly responsible for a truly horrible (and disfiguring) thing happening to Cricket. Besides which, they reveal in this episode that they have no idea why he would be angry with or resent them. Talk about cluelessness.
Followed By Locking Him In The Burning Apartment
In the same Thanksgiving episode, Cricket ends up locked in the apartment after it catches on fire. Now, one would think that the Gant would show at least some measure of compassion for the people that they’ve basically sentenced to death but, this being the Gang, they are essentially nonchalant about the whole thing. Fortunately, the event isn’t fatal for Cricket, but it does leave him with some significant scarring that only adds to his already horrifying appearance.
Letting The Mob Think He’s The One That Hit On The Mob Boss’s Wife
Very early on in the series, there’s a moment where a mob boss thinks that it was Cricket that hit on his wife (obviously, it wasn’t, but he somehow manages to stumble into the situation anyway). Needless to say, the consequences for Cricket are far from pleasant, as the man has his goons break both of Cricket’s legs. As always, the unfortunate Cricket ends up being a convenient scapegoat for the Gang (who, equally unsurprisingly, show now compunction for what they’ve done).
When Frank And Dee Shoot Him In The Hand During The Storm
During a hurricane, Frank and Dee shoot Cricket in the hand, thinking that he’s a looter. While this isn’t necessarily bad (one can’t blame them for being jumpy), their subsequent actions are definitely so. They agree to take him to the hospital, but end up leaving him in the car while they go to the store. Cricket takes matters into his own hands and crashes the car but, this being Cricket, his actions simply end up injuring him even more seriously than he was before. As usually, he simply can’t win.
The Tea Bagging
One would like to think that at some point in their collective past the Gang might have been good people, but that really does seem incredibly unlikely. For example, it’s revealed that Mac and Dennis used to teabag poor Cricket while he was passed out at parties. As if this wasn’t bad enough, it is subsequently revealed that the photos have begun to resurface on the internet. It’s hardly the kind of fame that a person like Cricket would (at least at first) desire.
Making Him Strip And MC That Dance Show
One has to give Cricket at least some credit for the way that, after his fall into depravity, he owns his own madness. That being said, there’s still something horrifying about the fact that the Gang convinces him to strip and MC a male strip show that they hold at the pub.
Though Cricket clearly doesn’t feel self-conscious, the views of the audience make it pretty clear that this is one of those moments where the Gang has, once again, exploited Cricket for their own benefit.
The Time They Paid Him In Lemons Rather Than Money
Poor Cricket. No matter how hard he tries, nothing seems to go quite as he thought it would. In one of the series’ most tragic episodes, he really does try to get his life back on track by going back to work for his father. He even tries to earn money in order to impress a woman that he’s fallen in love with. The Gang being the Gang, however, they pay him in lemons rather than money. To add insult to injury, it turns out the woman is really a dog, a product of a bad trip.
When They Use His Crush On Dee To Get Him To Come Bless The Water Stain, And It Starts His Slide From Priesthood
Without doubt, the worst thing that the Gang ever did was to set Cricket on the path to his downward spiral. When he first appears in the show, he’s actually a member of the priesthood. However, Dee convinces him that she has feelings for him and, Cricket being a rather susceptible sort, he leaves the priesthood, even though Dee is obviously lying. It’s a decision that will negatively impact the rest of his life, and one from which he’ll never fully recover.
