Warning! SPOILERS for Grey’s Anatomy season 18 ahead.
Grey’s Anatomy season 18 showed Meredith struggling with her past, pinpointing how her happily ever cannot avoid being tinged with sadness. Ellen Pompeo’s Meredith was relentlessly sure of her choice to leave Seattle and Grey Sloan Memorial in the second half of Grey’s Anatomy season 18. While her departure was momentarily stopped by the hospital’s residency program being shut down and needing to be saved, it uncovered how Meredith’s past at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital and her inability to deal with it affected her life and prevented her from living it fully.
When Kate Burton’s return to portray Ellis Grey was announced before Grey’s Anatomy season 18, many believed it meant Meredith would start to hallucinate her. That would have spelled disaster for the medical drama’s protagonist, as one popular Grey’s Anatomy ending theory predicted Meredith getting Alzheimer’s just as Ellis had. While there was nothing in Grey’s Anatomy season 18 that hinted at Meredith being closer to receiving an Alzheimer’s diagnosis, she did start to see her mother more frequently, first in nightmares and more recently in Grey’s Anatomy season 18, episode 19, when she was briefly unsure how to progress with the difficult surgery she was leading. Curiously enough, Ellis seemed ever-present when Meredith spent her time in Seattle rather than during her groundbreaking research in Minnesota. Ellis had, after all, made her first appearance in Meredith’s nightmares, questioning her life and career choices, when Meredith was considering participating in David Hamilton’s (Peter Gallagher) trial but had not yet decided.
Grey’s Anatomy season 18, episode 17’s heart-to-heart between Meredith and an inadvertently stoned Richard (James Pickens Jr.) proved that Meredith wanting to leave had more to do with everything heavy that had happened in Seattle than Nick (Scott Speedman) whisking Meredith away from everything she knew and loved. Their heartfelt conversation uncovered Richard’s feelings after Ellis died, how he saw her everywhere and felt Seattle was haunted by his hurtful memories, and in doing so, it highlighted Meredith’s problem with the city and Grey Sloan. Not only were they the places where the worst things in Meredith’s life happened, but they also embodied everything Ellis didn’t want for Meredith, as she believed Meredith was destined for greatness and that Grey Sloan couldn’t offer that. Seattle will always feel haunted by everything that happened to Meredith in her mind, and in addition to that, by Ellis’ crushing expectations, making it the worst place for Meredith to live her life somewhat peacefully.
Grey’s Anatomy season 18 showed how Ellis appeared in Meredith’s nightmares to second-guess her choices, to remind her of the time running out and her career not progressing as it should. In Grey’s Anatomy season 18, episode 19, Meredith’s mind even played tricks on her, letting her see Ellis belittling Meredith’s capabilities as a surgeon and instilling uncertainty in her. The only time Meredith didn’t see or dream of Ellis was in Minnesota, either connecting with Nick or when leading her Parkinson’s research. Her Ellis-ridden nightmares were absent in Minnesota, hinting at the possibility she could only be free of Ellis’ judgment if away from Seattle and what reminded Meredith of her.
Grey’s Anatomy season 19 might offer Meredith the chance to build a new, healthier relationship with Grey Sloan and the colleagues she always saw as her extended family. After all, Grey’s Anatomy season 18, episode 20’s cliffhanger ending with Meredith running after Nick following her attempt to push him away hinted at a different Meredith, one more inclined to follow her instincts and wishes rather than her default setting of dealing with her problems first and sort out her feelings later. If Meredith were to work through her issues with Grey Sloan in season 19, she could continue her life in Seattle in a happier state of mind if she wanted. Still, even if that epiphany were to finally offer peace to Meredith, Grey’s Anatomy season 18 highlighted her complicated relationship with everything that happened at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital and Ellis’ judgment, making Meredith’s only possible happily ever after one that sees her get far away from Seattle.
