McDreamy might have been one half of one of the most beloved television couples ever, but this Grey’s Anatomy hero has also been quite polarizing as far as fans are concerned. Derek was an excellent surgeon, but a flawed human being. Of course, these layers to his character are exactly what makes Shondaland’s characters seem so flesh and blood.
While Derek saved many lives over the course of the series and never gave up, he was also egotistic and a tad narcissistic. There were things he did for which he should have been proud and a few other things that were somewhat dubious.
Shameless: When He Was Condescending Towards Amelia
Derek was deeply condescending and his behavior towards his younger sister, Amelia, was beyond shameless. When Grey’s Anatomy fans met Amelia Shepherd, she was still heartbroken and trying to get her life back together after a spate of tragedies that had taken place in the Private Practice universe.
However, Derek’s way of “encouraging” his little sister to move on was to insult her, discourage her from performing intricate surgery, and patronize her at every step. He did not trust her expertise in neurosurgery, despite her being an excellent surgeon, and even later he had trouble working under her when he had himself quit his job to move to DC. He justified his obnoxious behavior by telling Amelia that he was looking out for her, but he clearly went about it the wrong way. As the older brother, he should have been there for her far more than he was.
Proud: When He Saved Multiple Lives
Right before his death, one of the most heartbreaking in Grey’s Anatomy, Derek saved a number of people most of whom would have almost certainly died otherwise. He knowingly missed his flight to DC and stayed back to help them. Had he not done that, he might never have met with that horrific accident that killed him in what is aptly titled, “How To Save Lives.”
This was, of course, the epitome of what had already been shown to be his inherent compassion and the fact that he never quit on his patients, taking on the most difficult cases that other neurosurgeons wouldn’t touch with a 10-foot-pole. Derek literally died saving lives and that was definitely a badge of heroism he could proudly wear.
Shameless: When He Pushed Meredith To Give Up Her Life
Derek was asked to be part of a White House initiative that was mapping the human brain. Now, it is true that he had initially not shown any particular interest in the project, but he soon felt that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and started envisioning an entirely new life for his family without much regard for Meredith’s views.
The whole of season 11 until Derek’s untimely demise was about how he and Meredith clashed over what each of them wanted from their respective lives. The way Derek pushed Meredith to give up her career, friends and life in Seattle and move with him to DC seemed chauvinistic and selfish, at best.
Proud: When He Refused To Accept The Settlement Money
With every shameless thing that Derek did, he did a few amazing things that he should have taken pride in. After season 8’s horrific plane crash, the victims’ families and survivors of the crash were all offered a settlement by the charter company, Bayview Aeronautics, for the physical and emotional trauma they had suffered.
However, it was Derek who reflected over the scale of the trauma. He reminded the others that they had a duty to ensure that other people didn’t lose their Lexies and Marks to such crashes. His conscience didn’t allow him to simply settle for a big sum of money when two of their own had died so horribly, and he soon got the others to see his point. His decision demonstrated his inherent humaneness and showcased him as a deeply principled, good man.
Shameless: When He “Forgot” To Tell Meredith He Was Married
Unfortunately, for Grey’s Anatomy fans, McDreamy was anything but dreamy on several occasions. The fact that he “forgot” to inform Meredith that he was married before he jumped headlong into a relationship with her is always going to eclipse any good deed he might have done.
Not only was Derek married when he first met Meredith at the bar, he chose to go back to his wife even after Meredith had laid her heart bare for him, delivering the now-iconic line, “Pick me. Choose me. Love me.” While giving his marriage a second chance might have seemed like a mature decision, as far as Meredith and her fans were concerned, this was unforgivable. Even though the two went on to be the main couple on the show, there was no excuse for Derek failing to be honest with the woman he claimed to love.
Proud: When He Stayed By Mark Until The End
Derek stayed by his best friend’s side despite the many differences they had in the past. Their relationship had especially taken a hit because Mark betrayed Derek’s trust by sleeping with Addison. However, they were shown to have moved past any misunderstanding and became good friends again until Mark’s shocking death in season 9.
It was very noble and good of Derek to stay by the side of his friend who had been more like a brother to him for years, in spite of whatever problems they had in the past. All differences were forgotten and forgiven in those last few days, as Derek, along with Callie and the rest of the hospital, prayed for Mark’s miraculous recovery.
Shameless: When He Put Pressure On Meredith To Have Kids
Grey’s Anatomy fans have always had a lot to say about Owen Hunt for putting pressure on Cristina Yang to have kids. However, Derek Shepherd too got Meredith to agree to the prospect of having a family, which was something he himself wanted and which Meredith wasn’t sure about.
Meredith wasn’t sure about a lot of things towards the beginning of the series. Her disturbed growing-up years had made her doubt herself and shy away from commitment. She was also not sure she wanted kids because she was afraid she would be a bad mother. While she wasn’t positively against having kids, it was Derek who got her to agree to having a family.
Proud: When He Offered Alex & Izzie His Wedding
Alex and Izzie might not make a lot of sense as a couple on Grey’s Anatomy, but fans loved them anyway. And it was Derek who thought of offering Alex and Izzie the church that he had himself booked for his wedding with Meredith.
This was noble of him indeed, as Izzie was able to have her wedding before she went in for her surgery. Suffice it to say that this was one of the sweetest things Derek did on the show and something he would have been proud of.
Shameless: When He Slut-Shamed Meredith
Meredith Grey endured a lot, but one of the worst things she faced was McDreamy’s obnoxious behavior towards her at various times.
When Meredith was dating Finn in season 2, Derek’s reaction was toxic. He slut-shamed her and asked her if she would be sleeping with Alex next. Given that it was he who had forgotten to mention the little detail about Addison to Meredith when they first met and had then chosen to go back to his wife, the fact that he now dared to slut-shame Meredith was beyond belief.
Proud: When He Was Able To Give Up His Dream Life For Family
Derek Shepherd gets a lot of flak for expecting Meredith to give up her life, but the fact is that he eventually did choose his family and Meredith over a career opportunity that might have been defining for him.
Giving up working for the president of the country isn’t easy, yet Derek did just that. Yes, it took him a while to wrap his head around the situation, but he did finally know what mattered more to him, and that was Meredith. Right before his devastating death, he had been on his way to sever ties with DC once and for all, so that he could come back home. But of course, life had other plans for him.
