Grey’s Anatomy: 10 Things That Make No Sense About Meredith & Derek’s Relationship

Grey’s Anatomy: 10 Things That Make No Sense About Meredith & Derek’s Relationship

Even though Derek Shepherd died several seasons ago on Grey’s Anatomy, the character’s legacy will always live on. This is particularly true as he recently made a surprise appearance in the latest season. There are several reasons why Derek and Meredith Grey were an amazing couple, and they created a wonderful life together. It seemed like they had it all, but unfortunately, they couldn’t escape tragedy.

Fans love Meredith and she’s the focus of many well-crafted episodes. But when it comes to Meredith and Derek’s romance, there are quite a few plotholes and things that don’t add up.

They Cared Too Much About What Other People Thought

Grey’s Anatomy: 10 Things That Make No Sense About Meredith & Derek’s Relationship

There are many reasons why fans love this relationship, but Meredith and Derek definitely had a tough beginning.

Instead of a fairy tale love story that involved Derek sweeping Meredith off feet, both were worried that the others at the hospital would hate the fact that they were together. Sure, it was understandable because she was an intern and he was a surgeon, but they were both adults. Did it really matter? Instead of being concerned about this, they should have worked on figuring out how they felt about each other.

They Waited Too Long To Make Their Marriage Legal

Derek and Meredith's post-it note wedding on Grey's Anatomy

Fans enjoy Derek and Meredith’s relationship because they seemed to fit together. After getting married via post-it note, which is one of the most famous moments on the series, they finally tied the knot at City Hall in the season 7 episode “White Wedding.”

Why did they wait so long to become legally married? It doesn’t seem logical, as even though they had a cute and charming post-it note wedding, they still needed to be spouses for real.

Derek Never Told Meredith He Was Married

Derek and Meredith talk to Addison on Grey's Anatomy

It was bad news for Derek to start hooking up with Meredith when he was married to Addison Montgomery. It was even worse for him to not tell Meredith about it.

Why didn’t Derek explain that he was technically still someone’s husband but they were having problems and he wasn’t sure that they would get back together? While Meredith would probably have been upset at first, she would have likely understood on some level, as her life has always been dark and complicated. It makes no sense that Derek would hide this as he must have known it would come out at some point.

They Both Had Major Commitment Issues

Meredith and Derek in an elevator in Grey's Anatomy

Between Meredith dating Finn and Derek becoming casually involved with Rose, it was clear that Meredith and Derek had major commitment issues when they first started dating.

They knew that they had something special and yet they still dated others and skirted around the idea of a real relationship, which makes no sense. It’s no wonder that fans ship Meredith with some other characters.

They Had Trouble Truly Supporting Each Other

Meredith and Derek in Grey's Anatomy

Derek is considered one of the most compelling characters but he wasn’t always nice to Meredith.

These two had trouble really and truly supporting each other. They often competed with each other and acted like their own work was more important than the other person’s. This isn’t how loyal and caring partners treat each other. Derek was upset about Meredith’s Alzheimer’s trial, and Meredith was unsure about Derek working for the president.

Meredith’s Third Pregnancy Was Unplanned

meredith with her kids on grey's anatomy

Derek and Meredith had a beautiful house and beautiful children, and when Derek passed away and Meredith realized she was pregnant, it was something she hadn’t planned on.

Wouldn’t Derek and Meredith have discussed how many children they wanted? It seems like this would have been part of their future plans, as they were too super busy working parents who didn’t have a lot of time to spend with their kids as it was. Adding a third baby into the mix would definitely have been a major change.

Meredith Wasn’t Close To His Family And Never Seemed To Know Them

Derek talking to sister Amelia

When Derek was alive, Meredith was never shown to be all that close to his family. Would that really be the case if they got married and had children?

Meredith and Amelia have never been best friends, and it seemed like they would have connected once Meredith became part of the family. Instead, Derek and Meredith created their own family and mostly hung out with the other doctors, and it doesn’t seem logical that they would have never talked to his relatives. Amelia became a confusing part of the series but it’s hard to believe that she wouldn’t have been interested that Derek had found love.

Before Derek’s Death, Their Marriage Was In Major Trouble

meredith and derek on grey's anatomy

Meredith went through so many tragedies and then she had to grieve her husband.

But before Derek died, Meredith and Derek’s relationship was in such big trouble that they looked like they were going to get divorced. They had so much tension and conflict that they stopped having real conversations and every word became an argument. This didn’t make sense, as they had been together for so long at that point, and they were used to balancing their marriage with their jobs and family. Why didn’t they fight harder for each other? Why did they let it get to this point?

Derek Actually Gave Meredith His Blessing To Date Finn

Meredith and Finn with a dog on Grey's Anatomy

Fans always cite Meredith and Derek as one of the most epic love stories on the series, but is that really true?

If they were meant to be together, why would Derek give Meredith his blessing and say it’s okay for her to date Finn? He should have told Addison that things were over between them and he should have told Meredith to break up with Finn so they could commit to each other. This was a strange choice on his part.

Derek Didn’t Need To Go To Washington To Quit

Meredith lying with Derek in the hospital on Grey's Anatomy

It was terrible to watch Derek get into a car accident, and it was even more tragic that this could have been stopped.

Instead of slowing his car down to assist people who had been in an accident, couldn’t Derek have called 911 and gotten some help? Of course, he was a wonderful and caring doctor, but he didn’t have to be the one to save people all the time. Instead, he was the one who needed saving but ended up dying. He was driving to Washington so he could leave his job and commit to Meredith and their kids, but couldn’t that have been done with a simple and quick phone call? This didn’t make any sense at all.