Chandler Muriel Bing could crack a good joke and be forgiven for his actions on Friends, passing off his misdoings as jokes. Chandler grew up in a privileged family in a dynamic which led to numerous character flaws in him such as his prejudice and using humor as a defense mechanism.
While it’s okay to harbor these tendencies as a child or as a young adult, it isn’t okay to keep justifying them in adulthood. Chandler’s insecurities snowballed into full-blown toxic behavior.
Constant Criticism Of His Friends
Chandler was always critical of his friends. The criticism came in the form of banter, but it was hurtful, to say the least. While Joey was introducing himself to Rachel, Chandler stepped in to mock him — “Look, Geppetto, I’m a real live boy.” Because of his constant criticism of his friends, he once resolved not to make fun of people.
Fans appreciated his brutally honest opinions, but Chandler failed to draw the line between condescension and harmless humor.
Failed To Sympathize With His Friends
The most striking thing about Chandler is that he failed to sympathize with his friends. The empathy was lost on him because of his condescending behavior. Chandler said things in a deadpan manner–from mocking Ross’s first divorce to the time he taunted Rachel when she kissed Gavin on his balcony.
The man barely showed Monica empathy when she came up with the baby plan after her break up with Richard. In his own words, he never was great at the advice. All he could do was interest people in a sarcastic comment.
Snubbing People With A Queer Identity
Chandler felt the constant need to scream and shout his heterosexuality. He gay panicked whenever the situation arose. This attitude was deep-seated in his father’s sexual orientation. Chandler would frequently joke about his father’s preferences, from the houseboy to makeup, clothing, and eyebrows.
Chandler refused to gender his father correctly, and he mockingly said Ross and Carol split because they both had the same interests.
Three Years Of Rent
Chandler bankrolled Joey’s career for years. It wasn’t an easy thing to do–the man must be applauded for it. However, he also made it public that he helped Joey with the bills or expenses. When Chandler and Joey were robbed of their items, the former openly said it was his stuff that was stolen, “Joey was born and then 28 years later, I was robbed.”
Chandler tried to make up for cheating on Joey with Kathy by buying household appliances. It’s weird Chandler covered three years of Joey’s rent and other expenses. It was most certainly because Chandler was hopeless, awkward and desperate for love. He had unresolved abandonment issues beneath the sarcastic exterior.
Betrayed His Best Friend Joey, Twice
Chandler betrayed Joey not once, but twice. The first time, he groped his sister to get over Janice. He just knew he’d fooled around with one of Joey’s sister, but he didn’t know which sister.
The second time, Chandler kissed Joey’s girlfriend Kathy in his absence. He said he felt terrible about it, but that didn’t stop him earlier. Kissing Kathy happened later in the story, Chandler started to get a crush on her, chased her down the street, went through immense trouble to buy his best friend’s girlfriend a gift.
Mistreating Janice
Chandler’s treatment of Janice was fairly misogynistic throughout the show. If Janice had a weird laugh or an overbearing personality, Monica snorted when she laughed, talked loudly and exercised maximum control. Let’s get this straight– It wasn’t wrong to be ashamed of Janice, but it was okay to fool around with her time and again?
Janice wasn’t just anyone, she was once the love of Chandler’s life. Once Chandler was over their on-and-off relationship, he treated her like a non-existent entity. He lied to her about moving to Yemen, berated her for the Taco Bell incident and pretended to be in love with her to get a house.
Acceptance Of His Parents
Nora Tyler Bing was a successful erotic novelist and a fearless lady. She marched to the beat of her drum–she was proud to be who she was. Charles Bing was a transgender woman, a charming burlesque dancer. Whilst there is no doubt that they failed to give Chandler a stable family life. Chandler resented them for who they were. It wasn’t so much about raising him as much as it was about embracing his parents.
Not once did Chandler accept his biological father was a transgender woman. Or his mother was only defiant of the convention. Quite frankly he was embarrassed by the two of them.
Fat Shaming People
Chandler’s fatphobia kept building up. In high school, Chandler dumped his camp girlfriend Julie Graff for putting on extra weight. He called Monica fat the first time he saw her. It was Chandler who sparked Monica’s adolescent eating disorder. The problem wasn’t limited to calling Monica fat, but also reached fully mistreating her.
Which is pretty evident from Thanksgiving 1987. Chandler refused Monica’s company. He didn’t want to be stuck all night with Monica at Ross’s house. The next year, Chandler ogled Monica in front of her father and brother.
Inability To Say Things Upfront
Chandler couldn’t resolve any of his problems as an adult. He lied to get out of every situation. He couldn’t be upfront with Janice, so he pretended to move to Yemen. He lied to Joey about having feelings for Mary Angela in the first place, about watching the audition tape. He proposed to Monica because he was sorry.
When he came to starting a family, he lied about that too. He couldn’t tell Monica the timing wasn’t appropriate for the two of them to start a family.
Runaway Groom
The show makers decided to make a joke out of runaway bride, Rachel. Everyone forgot about Chandler, the runaway groom.
He almost bailed out of his dream wedding. After years of facing the trials and tribulations of the relationship, he took off and left a note behind that said–‘Tell Monica I’m sorry.’ The wedding was planned just as he wanted, a casual affair with lilies, and his favorite band ‘Swing Kings.’ Monica had given up everything for this wedding, her dress, the band, the flowers, the magnanimity of the affair. This was Chandler’s dream wedding, yet he took off because he was nervous.
