Ray Barone did a good job of testing people’s patience on Everybody Loves Raymond. Played by Ray Romano, he’s a rather frustrating husband to Debra (Patricia Heaton). He can be selfish, irresponsible, and he cares more about having sex with his wife than solving problems.
Overall, Ray is the main character of the show. Everyone “loves” him. However, there are several qualities about his character that wouldn’t fly today. The storylines were funny in the late 1990s and early 2000s, but they’re questionable in 2020. Take a look at 10 things about Ray that would make today’s viewers raise an eyebrow.
Making Fun Of A Janitor
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In the season nine episode “The Faux Pas,” Ray invites his sons’ friend to a sports game. He makes the mistake of referencing and making jokes about janitors—not knowing that the young boy’s father is a janitor. When Ray tries to apologize to the boy’s father, he only makes things worse by unintentionally saying more insults.
Of course, Ray’s family tries to rectify the problem, but everything turns into a big, complicated mess. It’s not too surprising that Ray made a joke about a janitor, but the joke wouldn’t be acceptable in 2020.
Making Up Lies About The PTA
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In the season nine episode “P.T. & A,” Debra complains about how Ray has been dressing for the PTA meetings. He spills food on his clothing, and he doesn’t seem to care. As payback, he makes up a lie that the other women in the PTA think that Debra dresses “trampy.” She’s too provocative.
This is an awful lie. A husband shouldn’t make up a lie about this, ultimately causing Debra to humiliate herself at a PTA meeting when she decides to really dress “trampy.” It’s all Ray’s fault.
Taping Over Their Wedding Video
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There are many occasions on Everybody Loves Raymond where you want to shout at Ray. That happens in the season four episode “The Tenth Anniversary.” It’s Ray and Debra’s 10th wedding anniversary, so they decide to watch their wedding video. Debra is shocked to discover that Ray accidentally taped over the video with a Super Bowl football game.
Ray knows he made a mistake, so he arranges a vow renewal ceremony. This is a redeeming quality, but this renewal isn’t even recorded. So, Debra no longer has a VHS tape of any wedding, and it’s pretty frustrating from Ray. He often values sports over his marriage and it’s not pleasant to watch.
Always Playing Golf
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Ray is a sports columnist, so it makes sense that he would be actively involved in sports. However, he sometimes allows sports to interfere with his family. For example, he casts aside many of his responsibilities as a husband and father to go golfing.
He goes away on weekends for golfing trips. Meanwhile, he complains whenever Debra wants to leave for a weekend trip. Why is he allowed to go golfing and relax but Debra can’t do the same thing? That’s not cool, Ray.
Giving Debra PMS Pills
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Men don’t typically understand a woman’s menstrual cycle. In the memorable season four episode “Bad Mood Rising,” Ray notices that Debra is angry more than usual. He blames her period and says that her mood swings are just having “PMS.”
So, he decides to give her medication to help with her PMS. Of course, Debra is offended by this. Her husband thought a pill would solve everything she was going through. It leads to a fight and even his mother, Marie (Doris Roberts), slaps his cheek. Ray’s suggestion for taking pills would receive criticism today.
The AIS Incident
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In the season eight episode “Lateness,” Ray and his brother, Robert (Brad Garret), remember a policy their father, Frank (Peter Boyle), had from their childhood: AIS—otherwise known as “ass in seat.” If they weren’t in the car by the designated time, he would leave them behind.
So, Ray decides to use this policy with Debra. He has an important sports event and he doesn’t want to be late. He tells her to be ready by “AIS time.” Well, when Debra’s hair gets caught in her curling iron, she misses his “AIS time.” He leaves without her, which isn’t very nice. She needed help and just like many other times in their marriage, he doesn’t help her.
Flirting With Other Women
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Whenever a beautiful, attractive woman flirts with Ray, he finds it hard not to flirt back, even though he’s married. Of course, he never cheats on Debra, but he finds it delightful that other women express an interest in him.
This might still happen in today’s TV shows, but it’s inappropriate behavior. For example, when Robert moves into his own apartment, Ray enjoys visiting him simply because there are attractive women living in the apartment complex. It’s humorous, but it’s unfair to Debra.
He Loves The Extra Attention
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Ray knows he is loved. With his parents, especially his mother, he’s often treated as the favorite over Robert. He knows this and he loves the extra attention he receives. When Marie offers to take care of him, he doesn’t hesitate.
Because he’s the favorite, Ray has a hard time adjusting when someone else is favored. For example, in the season five episode “The Author,” Ray’s book is rejected by a publishing company. Minutes later, Robert announces that he has been promoted to lieutenant of the NYPD. Robert has worked hard as a police officer, but Ray is jealous. He loves being the favorite and he can’t accept the fact that Robert has the extra attention right now.
Pressuring Debra For Sex
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Even though Everybody Loves Raymond aired from 1996 to 2005, there are some storylines and characteristics that are gender stereotypical. For example, Ray is the sole provider for the family while Debra is a stay-at-home mom. There’s nothing wrong with that, but one of the stereotypes of the show is that Ray always wants to have sex with Debra.
When they have marital problems, he suggests having sex to solve the issue. The way he pressures Debra to have sex with him is annoyingly uncomfortable at times. Today’s viewers would raise eyebrows at this behavior.
Insulting Debra’s Cooking
Debra isn’t the best cook. That’s a known fact on the show, and Ray doesn’t hesitate to insult her cooking. He was spoiled by his mother’s fantastic cooking, so anything Debra cooks is a disappointment. He shouldn’t insult her cooking when she tries her best.
In the season four episode “Debra Makes Something Good,” Debra manages to perfectly cook braciole. Ray finds it delicious, but he still teases about it with his friends at work. He knows he’s supposed to make fun of Debra’s cooking to please his friends. Of course, this hurts Debra’s feelings. Can you really blame her?