Stephen King and George Romero’s Creepshow might be the best horror anthology movie ever, and here’s how its stories stack up, worst to best. Billed as “The Most Fun You’ll Ever Have Being Scared,” Creepshow arguably lives up to that moniker, with King and Romero crafting a fiendishly good time that manages to be creepy, gory, funny, colorful, and just an all-around blast. Sadly, neither of its sequels lived up to the first film, although “The Raft” at least makes Creepshow 2 watchable. The less said about Creepshow 3, the better.
While Romero is sadly no longer among the living, his old protege Greg Nicotero is doing his best to revive the strength of the Creepshow brand with a currently streaming series on Shudder. The show has yet to top the highest heights reached by the film, but most fans seem to enjoy it, even if, like any anthology program, it tends to be hit or miss. Considering that he also created Tales from the Darkside, Romero would probably be quite pleased with the resurgence of the anthology as of late.
With the anthology on the upswing again though, what better time is there to look back at King and Romero’s Creepshow, the film that gave birth to a franchise. Here’s a ranking of all five proper stories, plus the wrap-around tale, being counted as its own entry.
6. Prologue & Epilogue
While it’s probably no surprise that Creepshow‘s wrap-around story doesn’t top any of its proper segments, it’s still one of the better wrap-around stories in anthology film history. Decades before he would become a successful writer like his dad, Joe Hill makes a cameo as a little boy who loves horror comics. Also, genre favorite Tom Atkins plays his utterly unlikable father, who gets what he deserves after not only taking away his son’s comics, but slapping him around. It’s cathartic to watch him get his at the hands of a convenient voodoo doll, which proves to be quite a pain in the neck. Plus, it’s a rare opportunity see Atkins without his trademark mustache, and legendary special effects creator Tom Savini makes a cameo as well.
5. The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill
It’s important to emphasize that even though The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill is the worst of the five proper stories presented in Creepshow, that doesn’t mean it’s bad. Nothing in Creepshow is hard to sit through, which is part of why it’s so good, as some otherwise good anthologies possess real clunkers among the bunch. While Stephen King won’t win any awards for his performance as the title character, he’s fun to watch, as he plays things so over the top it’s amusing. The story surrounding him is surprisingly dark in the end too, with Jordy suffering a truly horrible fate, and it appearing likely that the rest of the world will be next. That old Verrill luck is always in.
4. Father’s Day
Father’s Day is the first story in Creepshow after the prologue, and while it’s not the best segment in the film, it sets a great, appropriate tone for what’s to come. The biggest strike against it is running a tad long, but it manages to get out before fully wearing out its welcome. Not only do viewers get treated to the sight of a young Ed Harris dancing like a fool, but the above zombie shows up, and wow is he cool. Romero and frequent collaborator Savini always do well with the undead. Father’s Day is also pretty funny, with some nice cutting banter present, and ends on a terrifically macabre final image.
3. Something to Tide You Over
Speaking of great-looking zombies, there’s the pair above, the result of a murder plot orchestrated by deranged husband Leslie Nielsen, in one of his rare villain roles post-Airplane. Nielsen is full of charisma and commands the screen as Richard, while a young Ted Danson plays his wife’s lover. Dawn of the Dead star Gaylen Ross cameos as wife Vicky. It’s a pretty close battle between Something to Tide You Over and The Crate, but it could be argued that the former loses a bit of steam by being similar in plot to the earlier Father’s Day, what with zombie vengeance and all that. Then again, vengeful zombies don’t really get old, provided one likes that kind of thing.
2. The Crate
The Crate also competes very well for the top spot, but in the end, like Father’s Day, it also comes close to running on too long. At two hours, Creepshow is on the long side for an anthology movie, one of its only notable weaknesses. The Crate is still a really good story though, featuring great performances from veteran actors Hal Holbrook and Fritz Weaver, as well as a particularly unlikable Adrienne Barbeau as the wife of Holbrook’s meek character. When the above monster is discovered to have an appetite for human flesh, Holbrook’s Henry sees an opportunity to cause his own divorce, and all it’ll take is a hungry monster and a gullible wife. The monster itself is a great creation, nicknamed Fluffy by Tom Savini, and really deserves its own movie to claim more victims in.
1. They’re Creeping Up On You
What puts They’re Creeping Up On You in the top spot of Creepshow‘s ranking is just how well actor E.G. Marshall plays lead character Upson Pratt, a filthy rich business tycoon who hates germs. He also hates other people, and is in particular an unrepentant racist. Pratt is just downright repulsive, and one can’t wait to see him get his comeuppance. And wow, does he get it. Pratt, in what’s become an iconic scene in horror history, is eaten from the inside out by an absolute mountain of cockroaches, basically his worst possible fear. It’s a perfect ending for a character that completely deserved it, and pure wish fulfillment for the viewer, provided they can stand to look at creepy crawlies. Hopefully one day a story on the Creepshow TV series manages to be in this league.
