9 Funniest Far Side Comics Featuring Vampires

The Far Side, Gary Larson’s syndicated comic masterpiece, featured a number of recurring motifs over the years – including one of the most enduring creators in the history of horror fiction: the vampire. While the strip featured plenty of darkness over the years, when it came to the bloodsucking undead, Far Side strips usually opted for silliness.

Larson was often an irreverent arbiter of sense and nonsense in popular culture. The strip became iconic for its ability to take the familiar and making it absurd; or rather, in many cases, to expose its inherent absurdity. Interestingly, the vampires of The Far Side were almost never threatening. Instead, they frequently operated as a supernatural filter through which Gary Larson cataloged natural, day-to-day occurrences. Most importantly, his lighthearted vampire panels were almost always good at eliciting a smile from the reader – fangs or no – making them worth revisiting.

9
Easy Pickings Don’t Always Make The Most Satisfying Meal, Kid

First Published: August 11, 1980

“No, no, Wendell…you can’t get blood out of a turnip,” a vampire parent gently chides his adolescent creature-of-the-night, as the young vamp sneaks up on an old man sitting on a bench, under a full moon. While not one of Far Side creator Gary Larson’s most elevated jokes, everything about the composition of this panel is likely to elicit a smile, particularly the contrasting looks of weariness, innocence, and total indifference on the faces of the older and younger vampires, and the old man, respectively.

8
Sylvia’s Date Isn’t Exactly The Life Of The Party

First Published: October 25, 1980

Throughout the Far Side’s run, Gary Larson’s humor frequently arose from the clash of the ordinary and the unnatural. In this case, a seemingly average house party, at which one of the guests, Sylvia, has invited along a vampire, who her friends hilariously refer to as, “another fly-by-night boyfriend.“ Evidently, Sylvia is in the habit of dating dark, sketchy dudes, to the point where her acquaintances aren’t even phased when she shows up on the arm of an actual prince of darkness.

7
A Gift Certificate Might Have Been A Better Idea

First Published: December 30, 1982

In this panel, Dracula’s friends display that they aren’t exactly the most thoughtful gift-givers, though they seem to mean well. Under a hand-crafted sign reading “Happy Birthday, Count,” in slightly askew lettering, the famous vampire unwraps his new…Acme sun lamp. While perhaps not strong enough to kill the vampire, it is more than likely to be a constant reminder that actual sunlight is forever out of his reach, as an undead stalker of the night. As a result, this is one of those gifts that seems great at the time, but doesn’t land once unwrapped.

6
Better Hope There’s An All-Night Coffin Repair Shop By The Airport

First Published: July 29, 1983

Once again, what makes this Far Side vampire panel so funny is the way it melds the common and the absurd. Here, the familiar grievance of damaged luggage at an airport baggage claim is emphasized by making the beleaguered passenger a vampire, and the luggage in question his coffin. As the living humans around him stoically wait for the conveyor to deliver their own bags, the vampire throws up his hands in dismay. Especially considering this is where he will sleep, it’s also like having his bags damaged and then getting to his hotel, only to realize they don’t have his room ready.

5
The Vampcow Rises

First Published: June 16, 1984

Of all the recurring elements Gary Larson used throughout Far Side’s run, cows were perhaps the most prominent. Larson clearly loved cows, and found transposing them into any possible situation endlessly amusing. In this strip, he depicts a herd of cows at a movie theater, watching a horror movie about a vampire cow. On screen, a casket lid slowly opens, and a hoof ominously sticks out. “Here he comes to feed off the milk of the living!” one viewer shouts, though what makes it hilarious is the “Oo,” – almost a “moo,” but not quite – that proceeds the commentary.

4
Don’t Mess Around With Vampire Dads

First Published: May 6, 1985

Larson once again finds the pitch perfect mix between the natural and the supernatural in this panel, which depicts vampire parents standing on the stoop of their home, shouting after a pair of teenage vampire lovers. “You get my daughter home before sunrise,” the dad-vampire declares, hands on hips, fangs out, adding: “I don’t want you coming back here with a pile of dried bones!” Most human parents want their teenagers in the house before sundown, and while vampire parents may be slightly different, some things are exactly the same.

3
Hank, Your Humanity Is Showing

First Published: June 1, 1985

“Hank! You’re reflecting!” one vampire whispers to another, as they stand in front of a mirror at an all-vampire cocktail party. As with many great Far Side panels, this one leaves the reader with more questions than answers. For instance, it must be asked whether Hank is, in fact, a human masquerading as a vampire, who has just blown his cover – in which case, he may be in big trouble. Alternatively, readers may wonder if, by Larson’s often inexplicable standard, reflecting is the equivalent of a vampire faux pas. Finally, it’s worth questioning why a vampire homeowner would even decorate with mirrors in the first place.

2
Vampire TV Is Nothing But Ads, Too

First Published: July 29, 1985

Vampires need to unwind after a long day – or more accurately, before a long night – just like everyone else, and likewise they need content specifically geared toward their demographic. This Far Side panel depicts a vampire at home, sitting in a recliner, watching “Channel 42, your vampire station.“ On the television set in front of him, Gary Larson delivers a perfect twist on the mundane, as another vampire declares, as part of an advertisement: “When you’re out of AB positive, you’re out of blood.” As an added touch, the singular decoration in the room, above the TV: a framed picture of two squiggles, presumably vampire bats.

1
The Vampcow Though They Were Vegetarians

First Published: January 6, 1986

Once again, Gary Larson combines his love of cows and his affinity for vampires with this panel, this time to utter perfection. With a caption reading, “thwarting the vampcow,” the image depicts a cow wrapped in a black cloak, backed into a corner by an old woman and her husband. The Far Side always thrived on making puns, and this is one prime example. While vampires are traditionally threatened by a wooden steak to the heart, a vampcow, of course, is afraid of a steak – a raw slab of beef from a formerly living cow, which the old woman realized in time to defeat the creature.