There’s a character in Gino McKoy’s second feature film,

Lumina (2024)

, who is meant to serve as comic relief, as indicated by his bucket hat, square glasses, and Alice-like love of descending internet rabbit holes. Unfortunately, George (Ken Lawson) is not funny, and yet I found myself laughing often throughout the first two-thirds of this science fiction horror film. About every 20 minutes in this overlong film, something so absurd and garbled occurs that it snatches an honest belly laugh.

Lumina is an impressively incoherent film. Following a five-minute prologue on an alien planet that won’t be revisited until the final moments of the film, we are taken to Los Angeles, where our protagonist Patricia (Sidney Nicole Rogers) is living in her friend Alex’s (Rupert Lazarus) house with his girlfriend, Tatiana (Eleanor Williams). After throwing a party attended by Alex’s old flame Delilah (Andrea Tivada), Tatiana gets abducted by an other-worldly light, leaving Alex and his friends to go on a dangerous quest to uncover a government conspiracy.

Bizarre Sequences Are Not Enough To Make Lumina Interesting

Lumina collapses under the weight of its confusing story

That abduction sequence was the first signal that Lumina may be so absurd as to be worthwhile. With an opening involving a space-suited being finding an overturned buggy that leads into a spectacular LA house party, it was anyone’s guess how these two sequences would connect. Then, a massive, violent explosion occurs where liquids freeze in the air and a jogger, who we never see again, is given ample screen time. It’s inexplicable and extremely disorienting.

Presumably, Tatiana has been abducted, but it’s so unclear that I assumed she had been reduced to the lump of coal smoldering where she was standing. However, I still enjoyed it. It was like falling asleep while scrolling Instagram and waking up on some never-before-seen part of the internet. You’re confused, but may as well keep watching. I wanted to see the next wild sequence. And I wanted to find out if there is any situation that would prevent Tatiana from whipping out her cell phone and filming with two hands like a toddler. Spoiler: There’s no such situation.

Despite my hopes, these bizarre moments get less and less fun. I should have known. In that prologue, a strange camera movement tilts the frame at an angle. At first, I thought this was the grade of the alien plant, a huge slant. Later, I finally realized it was a metaphor for the film, the quality of which kept going down.

Lumina Feels Unpolished & Unfinished

Missing scenes and added VFX make Lumina feel cobbled together

Lumina‘s ridiculousness wears out in the final third, which lurches into a dull shell of a haunted house movie as the four main characters run from one alien base to another. It’s pretty obvious that the passable VFX at the start of the movie ate much of the budget, and we’re left with CGI that would make the animators behind Sharknado blush. Based on some of the lines, I think many effects were added at the eleventh hour.

Several scenes are clearly missing from the film. It’s particularly noticeable during the ending. Edits start and stop so that you can’t see what’s happening onscreen, dialogue is heavily ADR’d, and characters arrive and leave with little explanation. Eric Roberts does his best as Thom, an alien conspiracy theorist, but once he goes mad and starts swinging a shovel, he’s all but forgotten. The best B-movies still resolve their plots by the finale, but Lumina ends with a depressing thud and then cuts to an imagined scene of Tatiana and Alex kissing, set to a cheer-worthy love song.

The Soundtrack Is Appealing But Clumsily Jammed Into Lumina

Lumina could be an extended music video

That closing song is actually pretty good; all the music in Lumina is. There’s a scene of the gang trying to use an aux cord in an R/V, but unexplained interference forces them to listen to the radio, which they also cannot shut off. Despite being annoyed initially, everyone in the vehicle slowly begins bobbing their heads and snapping their fingers until everyone is dancing. This lasts for over two minutes and George says, “Shazaam that one“.

So I checked out the credits, and wouldn’t you know it, the song is called “Runaway” by Gino McKoy. In fact, every song on Lumina‘s soundtrack is by the director, even the EDM remixes. If Lumina is an extended music video for McKoy… well, it’s still not good, but perhaps his next album can also be in film form and answer some questions like how did Tatiana and Alex survive that last abduction? Where else are goats native? And whatever happened to George’s bucket hat?

Lumina is now playing in theaters. The film is rated R for some language and violent content.