Neon Genesis Evangelion is without a doubt one of the most influential anime of all time, so when I learned that my then-girlfriend, now wife, hadn’t seen it, I had to correct that. I wasn’t sure how she’d feel about the series, but she had heard a bit about it, so we weren’t going in totally blind. Her reaction to the series, however, was one I never could have expected: total obsession.

For me, Evangelion was one of the first really serious, dramatic anime series I had ever seen, and I was introduced to it on Adult Swim when I was roughly the same age as Shinji and the other EVA pilots. Shinji’s malaise was relatable. Surely, every teenager knows what it’s like to be forced to do something that they really don’t want to do.

Shinji felt like a character that was based on all my worst traits at the time, and for this reason, I never really was sure whether I liked him as a character or not. Watching the show is equal parts “Poor Shinji” and “Get in the Robot, Shinji!” for me.

As a fan of science fiction, I also enjoyed Evangelion on the surface level, with its giant robots and alien invaders. Evangelion‘s world is a lot deeper than it appears, though, and I dived in with relish. Of course, what really drew me in was how the madness builds and builds within these characters, and I was often left in stunned silence every time the credits rolled. My first time watching the ending left me completely baffled, and I ended up online trying to find some interpretation of what happened that made sense to me. That was when I discovered the almost academic way that fans examined the series, and it was absolutely fascinating.

Evangelion Is About “Vibes” and Puberty

A Completely Different Take on Evangelion

I was eager to see what my wife would think of the series when I showed it to her, back at a time when we had to order DVDs from Netflix two at a time. She had one persistent question from the beginning which had me surprised, though: “When does Kaworu show up?” She had an impression that he was a very important character, which is true, but Kaworu’s role in the series is actually pretty small, only showing up in the last episode before the two-part finale. I didn’t really understand why she was so invested in Kaworu in particular, until we finally got to that point.

That was when I learned that Evangelion has a surprisingly large gay following, due largely to Kaworu and Shinji’s relationship. My wife explained that she felt like the series was a big metaphor for dealing with puberty, and that Kaworu represented the confusion about sexual identity that can arise as one develops their identity for the first time. It was a completely different interpretation of the series than what I was familiar with from the broader fandom’s opinions, but I couldn’t really say that it was the wrong one. Apparently, Kaworu’s long-awaited appearance was well worth the wait.

Since I had first watched it on TV, watching it on DVD with her was also the first time I’d seen the series in quite a while. Although I remembered Kaworu, I hadn’t really been looking at his relationship with Shinji in that way when I first watched the series, and her opinion was a bit of an eye-opener. After we finished the series, she dove into the expanded universe of Evangelion, reading manga like Angelic Days, the “high school AU” spinoff based on a sequence seen during the finale. All of a sudden, she was the expert on Evangelion, and my own knowledge of the series paled in comparison.

Evangelion’s Expanded Universe Is Something Else Altogether

The Series’ Spinoffs Have No Problem Diverging from “Canon”

In Evangelion‘s spinoffs and other related media, Kaworu often has a far larger role than he does in the main series, something that continued over into the Rebuild of Evangelion movies when those began releasing. Kaworu is typically shown to be a bit jealous of the attention the girls receive, and definitely fixates on Shinji in a manner that looks a lot like a crush, whether that’s what it’s supposed to be or not. Kaworu’s immediate attraction to Shinji and his intense emotional openness, especially relative to everyone else, make it look even more romantic than it already does.

In a lot of ways, it feels like the Evangelion spinoffs are more made for people like my wife than me: those who hold such a different interpretation of the main series from the Western fandom, at least. I’ve come to appreciate her perspective on the series over the years, even if it had me quite flummoxed at first. Moments like the infamous “thermal expansion” from the original dub certainly lend credence to the interpretation of Evangelion as a puberty metaphor, and no one can argue that the idea of growing up isn’t a big part of the series.

The fact that these spinoffs are allowed to be produced would suggest that perhaps that interpretation isn’t so far off after all, even if Netflix’s new “more accurate” Evangelion dub muddies the water a bit in terms of Kaworu’s character. Whether Gainax intended it or not, Kaworu has become something of a gay icon among a certain segment of anime fans, who love the series just as much as I do. Their affinity for the series is just as valid, and I think it’s very impressive that Evangelion can pull in such a diverse fanbase.

I sometimes joke about having created a monster by introducing my wife to Evangelion, but the truth is that I’m glad that she was able to enjoy it, even if it’s in a different way than me. I don’t always understand her love for the series, but I respect it nonetheless. It’s a testament to Neon Genesis Evangelion‘s quality that two people coming from such different perspectives can still find something to like about it, and I’m glad it’s something we can enjoy together.