Ghouls are one of the Fallout franchise’s most enduring and inspired creations. A more sympathetic take on the zombie trope, they brilliantly evoke the horror, humor, and human tragedy at the core of the setting. But there are certain ghouls who, through sheer suaveness or sharp attention to post-apocalyptic fashion, have managed to stand out from the pack as some of the coolest characters in the wasteland.

For the average ghoul, attaining cool status is a potentially Sisyphean task. Widely discriminated against for their gruesome appearance, smell, and an unfortunate tendency to devolve into feral versions of themselves, ghouls are unlikely to be invited to the trendier soirées of the Fallout universe. Anyone is bound to pick up a thing or two after a few centuries of life, however, so it follows that there are some necrotic post-humans eager to stick it to the smoothskins and bring ghoul-cool to the wasteland.

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Meet Set, The Tyrannical Trendsetter

Set is the vicious leader of Necropolis, an all-ghoul society in Fallout (1997). Born before the Great War, he seized control of his own kingdom from human settlers in 2083 and proclaimed it a new kind of ethnostate for ghouls. Trespassing humans are killed and eaten, with ghouls proclaimed “The future” of the post-apocalyptic world.

Set is cool only in the sense that he would likely rank on the wasteland equivalent of a Forbes list. He projects sheer and terrifying power, capable not only of founding his own community but of elevating ghouls as a people. The fact this elevation is based on the same xenophobic sentiment that drove ghouls from human settlements in the first place is either lost on him or disregarded because it harshes his power trip. Set is a remarkable ghoul – but he’s also a despot, and that’s just really uncool.

9

Fog Ghouls Are A Trendy Seaside Spin On The Common Enemy

Fog ghouls appear only in the Far Harbor expansion for Fallout 4. While very similar in appearance to the common feral ghoul, fog ghouls can be distinguished by their puffy, waterlogged flesh and fishing-related accessories. These coastal monsters aren’t particularly cool on their own, but compared with their bland mainland cousins (which the Sole Survivor will no doubt mow down by the thousands during their time in the Commonwealth), they sport a refreshing maritime flair.

Fog ghouls are also elevated by their spooky habitat. The atmospheric radioactive fog that enshrouds the Island in Far Harbor partly conceals the ghouls, heightening their threat by increasing the risk of a midnight ambush. Chuck in a higher level cap and fog ghouls become an exciting spin on an overused enemy.

8

Brace Yourselves For A (Red) Scare With Zao

Zao was once a captain for the Chinese Navy and can be found onboard the Yangtze-31 nuclear submarine in Fallout 4. Featured in the weird side quest Here There Be Monsters, he reveals that it was his orders and his missiles that leveled the Boston area and formed the inhospitable Glowing Sea two hundred years ago. Beneath his prejudices and military pomp, however, Zao is an honest and sympathetic man who regrets the destruction of the Great War and wishes simply to return to China to help rebuild his homeland.

Zao is cool for his personality but also his slick Submariner uniform. His sharp cap and fur-lined trench coat make for an enviable fashion combination. Zao loses points for nuking the whole Commonwealth though, and for exemplifying Fallout 4’s unimaginative writing when it comes to pre-war ghouls. Two hundred years have passed, and Zao is still on the same submarine, in the same uniform, and spouting the same Pre-war propaganda. There is no dynamism or growth to his character; he’s like a shrinkwrapped toy, popped open after two hundred years solely for the player’s benefit.

7

Tommy Ten-Toes Brings The Gaba-Cool

Tommy Ten-Toes is a caravan guard who patrols the Appalachian wasteland of Fallout 76. An ex-mobster, Tommy struggles with math but excels at punching anyone who threatens his boss’s caravan. When he’s not ripping bad guys limb from limb, he likes drawing pictures of animals he remembers from the zoo before the War.

Tommy isn’t the smartest ghoul in the series, but he scores cool points for his fearsome gangster looks and chilled-out view of life. In a setting rife with cruelty and death, someone who manages to be simultaneously intimidating, friendly, and enthusiastic about animals deserves some special attention. Until Fallout 76 lets its players create their own ghoul characters, Tommy will remain the coolest.

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Glowing Ones Make The Wasteland A Brighter Place

Glowing ones have been in the Fallout franchise since the very beginning. They’re ghouls that have been exposed to such extreme concentrations of radiation that their body swells and literally glows green. While usually feral, there are a handful of glowing ones throughout the series who have managed to retain their wits and live away from the smoothskins.

Glowing ones demonstrate ghoul-cool for two major reasons: firstly, they glow in the dark, which, as any ten-year-old knows, is always cool, and secondly, they’re extremely rare, which sort of makes them the ghoul equivalent of Pokemon shinies. Finding a glowing one is something of an event, especially in the early games. Combine this with potent radiation attacks and a startling appearance, and each encounter with these incandescent eyesores becomes a fight to remember.

5

Dean Domino Cons And Croons His Way To The Top

Dean Domino is a full-time manipulator and part-time companion from the Dead Money DLC for Fallout: New Vegas. A famous lounge lizard before the War, he’s been trapped in the terrifying Sierra Madre Villa since the bombs fell. Domino is slick, charismatic, and incredibly dangerous to anybody who falls for his charms.

Domino’s coolness is self-evident: his suit, his suave transatlantic voice, his ingenuity when it comes to schemes and explosives. He even wears sunglasses. What bars Dean from the highest echelons of ghoul-cool is the fact that it’s all for show. Behind the smiles and witty remarks is an egotistical con artist with a short temper and an even shorter dynamite fuse. If the Courier fails to flatter him at every opportunity, Domino will lose his cool completely and try to murder them at the end of the DLC.

4

The Marked Men Are The Most Metal Ghouls In The Franchise

The lore about the marked men is as brief as it is terrifying. Made up of NCR and Legion troops present in the Divide during its collapse, the ghouls were transformed by the radiation, then slowly skinned alive by the shrieking hurricane winds that tear through the region. When the Courier visits the Divide during the events of Lonesome Road, the final DLC in New Vegas, they find that the marked men have banded into hostile tribes and viciously attack anyone who encroaches on their territory.

It’s probably misleading to say that the marked men are cool, but their appearance is certainly gnarly. Flayed by the winds of the Divide, their bright, red-raw flesh stands in contrast with the muted tones of their factional armor, which has been reinforced with street signs bound together by twine. Their behavior is also striking. They display tactics, set fires, and build igloo-like shelters from cinder blocks. These intelligent actions suggest that the marked men aren’t feral and are fully aware of their own nightmarish situations. Fallout doesn’t get more metal than this.

3

Hancock Revolutionizes What It Means To Be Cool

Like Set, John Hancock is an amoral ghoul leader. Unlike Set, Hancock is actually cool. Instead of playing at being a king, he styles himself as a revolutionary hero after the 18th-century historical figure — a punk rock statement against the crusty xenophobia of Diamond City and the Commonwealth’s Institute oppressors.

Hancock presides over Goodneighbor, a charming if unsavory settlement at the heart of post-war Boston. He’s cool in ways that are admirable but also in ways that kids probably shouldn’t try at home. Put aside his potty mouth and addiction to Jet, however, and he’s a noble leader at heart who genuinely cares for his people and wants everyone, whether they’re synth or ghoul, to get along. Plus, he has a really nice coat.

2

The Ghoul, AKA Cooper Howard, Is Essentially A Crispier Clint Eastwood

Amazon’s recent TV series defied many fans’ expectations by actually being quite good, but it’s Walton Goggins’ gruff mercenary ghoul who really stole the show. Originally an actor named Cooper Howard before the War, he starred in several Hollywood Westerns and later became the face of the infamous Vault-Tec corporation. After nuclear war devastated California, the Ghoul inhabited his old roles and became a nameless drifter styled after a cowboy.

The Ghoul is cool for many of the same reasons that Eastwood’s Man With No Name is cool. They are both unflappable men who can efficiently resolve every situation with a quip and a flick of their trigger. What sets the Ghoul apart is the twisted metaphor of his transformation. While Hollywood could only immortalize Cooper on the silver screen, ghoulification quite literally renders him an immortal cowboy, burning away the actor’s complex humanity until only a hollow character remains.

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Harold’s Roots Stretch Back To The Founding Of The Setting

Harold is first encountered in Fallout (1997) as an old ghoul down on his luck. He tells the Vault Dweller that he was once well-respected and that he knew the Master before he became what he is now. He remembers the Great War and the opening of the first vaults. His humor is coarse and sometimes strange, but he welcomes the Dweller into his home and wants to help them. In Fallout 2, he has a unique problem: a tree is sprouting from his head. Harold doesn’t think this is much to concern himself about – he calls the plant “Bob.”

In Fallout 3, Harold appears once again. The tree growing out of his head has taken root, and now he and Bob are joined in a symbiotic relationship. The Lone Wanderer can convince the ghoul of the worth of his situation, arguing that he is giving meaning and hope to those who dedicate themselves to him. The power of Harold’s weird, rambling tale is in its warmth and humor. It suggests that a post-human future in the Fallout setting can be allowed to flourish naturally through a mutual desire for people to help each other. And that is very cool.