Larry David is always rubbing people the wrong way in Curb Your Enthusiasm, but some of his actions cross the line into being completely unforgivable. Pretty much every episode of Curb features one of Larry’s blunders, whether this is intentional or not. He has his own set of standards who nobody else abides by or even understands, so things which seem reprehensible to others barely even register to him.

The irony of Curb Your Enthusiasm‘s series finale is that Larry finally faces a day in court, but it’s for one of his rare good deeds. He tries to offer Auntie Rae a bottle of water while she waits in line in the beating sun, and of all the horrific things he does in Curb‘s 12 seasons, this is what lands him in the most trouble. Larry’s trial brings back characters from throughout the show’s history, and this acts as a reminder of just how many horrific things Larry has done.

10

Getting His Therapist Arrested

Season 6, Episode 9, “The Therapists”

British comedian Steve Coogan makes a brilliant guest appearance in season 6 of Curb Your Enthusiasm. He plays Dr. Bright, Larry’s therapist who tries to help him patch things up with Cheryl after she leaves. Unfortunately, every piece of advice that Dr. Bright gives Larry ends up backfiring. He proposes an ultimatum, which Cheryl immediately rejects. To make it up to Larry, Dr. Bright agrees to pose as a mugger, so that Larry can chase him off and endear himself to Cheryl’s therapist, Dr. Slavin.

Larry’s misdeeds are often compounded when he has an accomplice. This is most frequently Jeff or Leon, but Dr. Bright also brings the worst out of Larry. When he is arrested for the mugging, Larry lets him spend the night in jail to maintain the facade. He’s so deep into his lie that he has no choice but to let Dr. Bright endure a traumatic night behind bars, even though this psychologically scars him and he ends up seeking treatment from Dr. Slavin.

9

Inviting A Sex Offender To Dinner

Season 5, Episode 7, “The Seder”

The whole neighborhood is anxious when a registered sex offender moves in, but Larry’s main objection is that the man is bald, and this could reflect poorly on the bald community at large. While everyone tries to maintain their distance, Larry befriends Rick, and they bond over their love of golf. Larry sees fit to invite Rick to his big Passover Seder, even though all his friends and family are there.

Larry doesn’t announce ahead of time that Rick is coming to dinner, nor does he try to figure out why Rick is a registered sex offender. With so many women and children at the Seder, it makes for an extremely uncomfortable evening. Larry may think he’s being generous by extending an olive branch to a man shunned by society, but he doesn’t consider how other people might feel being in the presence of such a man.

8

Eating A Dying Dog’s Last Meal

Season 8, Episode 5, “Vow of Silence”

When the Greene family’s dog has to be put down, Susie sends Jeff and Larry to get some of his favorite frozen yogurt as a last meal. Larry just has to sit and hold the cup on the drive home, but he can’t help himself, and he finishes Oscar’s last meal before they even get home. There’s no real reason that Larry does this, other than his feeling that his own desires are worth more than those of a dog.

By refusing to extend a noble courtesy to a dying animal, Larry shows the depraved depths of his selfishness. He knows how much Oscar has meant to the family, especially Sammi, who grew up alongside him. None of this matters to Larry. He reasons that the dog will be dead either way, so he may as well do what he wants. The only witness to this particular crime is a man who has taken a vow of silence, but Larry is so unlikable that the man breaks his silence to tell Susie the truth.

7

Killing A Swan

Season 7, Episode 7, “The Swan”

Larry often gets into trouble at the country club, and Mr. Takahashi always accuses him whenever there is a problem anywhere in the facility. His instincts are right in “The Swan,” when he tries to discover who killed his beloved black swan. Larry kills the swan in self-defense, but there are definitely plenty of other ways he could have dealt with the bird flapping its wings toward him.

Rather than using the golf club to maintain his distance from the swan, he panics and takes a big swing, as if he’s trying to hit the swan off a tee. This is bad enough, but what really makes this such a despicable action is the way he tries to cover up and deny the murder. Episodes like “The Swan” are a big reason why season 7 is one of Curb Your Enthusiasm‘s best seasons.

6

Cleaning A Klansman’s Robe

Season 11, Episode 4, “The Watermelon”

For better or worse, Larry tries to treat people equally. This can be a positive trait in some scenarios, but it also means that he gives some people much better treatment than they deserve. In the season 11 episode “The Watermelon,” Larry bumps into a man carrying a cup of coffee with his clean white robes. In any other context, it would be a nice gesture for Larry to offer to get the robes dry-cleaned.

Larry chit-chats with the man as if there is no problem at all that he is part of a hate group. He even tries to help him by suggesting that he attend the rally wearing a sheet. The kicker is that Larry takes the robes to a Jewish dry-cleaner. This man has a more normal reaction to seeing the hateful symbol on the robes, but Larry persuades him to turn the other cheek and clean the robes anyway, meaning that the klansman can attend his hate rally with a smile on his face.

5

Ruining Mocha Joe’s Business Out Of Spite

Season 10

Some of Larry’s worst actions are momentary lapses or misunderstandings, but his personal vendetta against Mocha Joe consumes him for the entirety of season 10. Larry and Mocha Joe start off as friends, since they knew each other from their time working on Seinfeld, but they get into an argument at Joe’s new coffee shop, and Larry refuses to simply let it slide.

Larry’s “spite store” is a world-class petty move. He gets a bad scone and some cold coffee, and this escalates into him trying to run Joe out of business entirely. Larry can draw on his immense wealth and his seemingly endless free time just to try and ruin Mocha Joe, and there’s no point at which he considers that he may be going too far. Mocha Joe returns as one of the best witnesses at Larry’s trial in Curb‘s finale, and they immediately reignite their feud.

4

Hanging Up On Cheryl When She Thinks Her Plane Is About To Crash

Season 6, Episode 7, “The TiVo Guy”

Cheryl has to put up with an awful lot in her marriage with Larry, and she finally decides that enough is enough in season 6. She calls Larry from a plane as it shakes violently through a thunderstorm to tell him that she loves him, but he’s more worried about the TiVo guy who he has finally got to come to the house. He hangs up on her in favor of getting the TiVo fixed, and she leaves him as soon as she gets home.

Rather than apologizing and begging for another chance, Larry doubles down on his decision. He doesn’t seem to care that his wife was fearing for her life, he just wants her to understand how hard it is to book a visit from the TiVo guy. Larry and Cheryl’s divorce changed Curb Your Enthusiasm for the better. It allowed both characters to explore new and interesting story lines, and it meant that Cheryl was no longer stuck in a loop of rationalizing Larry’s ridiculous actions.

3

Stealing Flowers From Ida’s Memorial

Season 6, Episode 3, “The Ida Funkhouser Roadside Memorial”

“The Ida Funkhouser Roadside Memorial” is one of Curb Your Enthusiasm‘s best episodes, and it revolves around one of Larry’s most heinous acts. When Larry needs to get some flowers to apologize to Cheryl and a school admissions director, he realizes that the easiest way to get them is to steal them from the roadside memorial for Marty Funkhouser’s dead mother.

This isn’t the only horrible thing Larry does to the Funkhousers, as he also pries a golf club out of Marty’s father’s hands while he’s lying in his coffin. This would be enough for most people to cut ties with Larry, but Marty somehow finds a way to continually forgive him for his various trespasses. The scene when Marty slowly realizes that Larry is the one responsible for taking the flowers is excruciatingly cringy, and completely hilarious.

2

Stealing Shoes From A Holocaust Museum

Season 11, Episode 10, “The Mormon Advantage”

Larry’s entire arc in season 11 is pretty deplorable, as he dates a city councilor who he despises just so he can try to get a law repealed and avoid legal repercussions for not having a fence around his pool. However, this is nothing compared to what he has in store for the season finale, which sees his self-centered nature sink to a new low as he finds himself at a Holocaust museum while a rainstorm threatens to ruin his shoes.

One of Larry’s worst deeds on Curb is accompanied by playful, melodic music, reminiscent of Singin’ in the Rain, as Larry dances out of the museum with a new pair of shoes on his feet. The devastating historical context around the shoes doesn’t seem to bother him at all. The shoes turn out to be the same pair which belonged to Irma’s grandfather, and seeing them on Larry’s feet dredges up incredibly painful memories. She soon relapses into alcoholism.

1

Saving His Phone Instead Of Sammi

Season 7, Episode 5, “Denise Handicap”

Larry doesn’t get along with children, and this frequently gets him into trouble with Susie when he doesn’t know how to deal with Sammi. Many of Larry and Susie’s best arguments on Curb come as a result of him being unable to interact with her respectfully. He yells at her to stop singing early in the morning, he rips the head off of one of her dolls and he ruins her chances at getting accepted into her chosen school.

The worst thing that Larry ever does to Sammi, by far, is to try and save his BlackBerry before going into the water to save her from drowning. When he sees her calling for help, he returns to his chair not once, but twice, just to make sure that his phone is neatly wrapped up in a towel before trying to save her life. Ultimately, Jeff has to rush in to the sea instead. Of all Larry’s thoughtless, selfish deeds on Curb Your Enthusiasm, this is the only one that nearly results in the death of a child.