The English sailor John Blackthorne was an essential part of the success of Shōgun, as his incredible insults were some of the series’ best lines. With hugely impressive scripts, a fantastic performance by Cosmo Jarvis as Blackthorne, and an interesting balance between Western culture and Japanese societal expectations, Blackthorne’s impeccable turns of phrase helped give this FX miniseries its unique identity. From light taunts at what Blackthorne perceived to be the samurai’s absurd hairstyles to the outright offensive, the pilot-major known as ‘Anjin’ had countless incredible insults throughout Shōgun’s ten-episode run.

Despite being in a precarious situation from the first episode, Blackthorne never held back his true feelings and was always quick with witty insults toward those who sought to break him down throughout the many twists seen in Shōgun. As most characters in Shōgun did not speak Blackthorne’s language, he could run wild with absurd insults that used incredibly flowery and creative phrases. Although his translator and love interest, Mariko, rarely revealed his insults to those they were directed at, Blackthorne had many genuinely great insults in Shōgun.

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“Your God. First Make That Distinction, You Papist Pr**k”

Chapter One: Anjin

Not long after the introduction of John Blackthorne in the first episode of Shōgun, audiences learned this was a man who knew how to come up with a good insult. After arriving in Japan and being taken prisoner by local samurai, Blackthorne soon found himself at the mercy of a local Jesuit translator, whose Catholic Church was the religious rival of Blackthorne’s Protestantism. Blackthorne quickly revealed his disdain for the priest and did not hold back in letting him know how little respect he held for him, even in his dire situation.

As the priest mistranslated Blackthorne’s words for Kashigi Yabushige, he told him he was a “servant of God.” Blackthorne was quick to say to him that it was important to make the distinction that they came from different religions before calling him a “papist pr**k,” which quickly showcased that Blackthorne had no interest in playing nice. It seemed the religious differences between the two ran so deep that even in the cultural confusion of feudal Japan, Blackthorne could not hold back his hatred of Catholics.

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“I Will Not Be Spoken For …. In This Daft Land!”

Chapter One: Anjin

John Blackthorne’s disdain for the Catholic Jesuit priest he met in the first episode of Shōgun was so strong that he refused to allow him to translate for him as he knew his words were not being presented accurately. Rather than rely on the priest, Blackthorne screamed and shouted at Kashigi Yabushige in a way that ensured he knew he had met a force to be reckoned with. As the priest tried to present Blackthorne as a pirate who needed to be done away with, in a fiery anger, Blackthorne pleaded his case for safe passage for himself and his crew.

After Kashigi Yabushige decreed that Blackthorne’s ship should be confiscated and that he was to be executed, Blackthorne screamed that he was “not one of them” and that he would “not be spoken for by Catholics.” Blackthorne raged that this was unacceptable in Europe, “and certainly not in this daft land!” Incredibly, Blackthorne felt comfortable insulting the entirety of Japan when the continuation of his life rested on the wishes of the Japanese. This early insult proved that Blackthorne was unlike any Westerner Kashigi Yabushige had previously encountered.

8

“If He’s Not A Warlock, He’s Most Certainly A Pimp”

Chapter Three: Tomorrow Is Tomorrow

The clashing of Western and Eastern cultures was a major point of conflict throughout Shōgun that led to many of the series’ funniest moments. A particularly hilarious interaction with the Osaka doctor, whom John Blackthorne called a “warlock” in the third episode, led to one of his greatest insults. Blackthorne’s lack of understanding of modern medical knowledge in Japan was on full display as he asked if the doctor was going to “bleed me, to release the foulness from my blood,” but the doctor said that he was too tense and that what he needed was a woman.

Upon learning that the doctor prescribed him a courtesan rather than medicine, Blackthorne said, “If he’s not a warlock, he’s most certainly a pimp.” While this insult was not as vulgar or shocking as some of Blackthorne’s very best insults, it highlighted his quick-witted nature and lack of understanding surrounding Japanese customs and gender expectations. As Blackthorne’s translator, Toda Mariko, tried to figure him out, she questioned if he preferred a male companion, which shocked Blackthorne even further.

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“I Don’t Care What Kind Of Savage Wh**e, B**ch Turd You Are”

Chapter One: Anjin

Even after narrowly surviving an intense storm, John Blackthorne couldn’t help but get in an incredible insult as he spoke with the Japanese crew about the need to go back and rescue the Spanish pilot, Vasco Rodrigues. Despite being adversaries, Blackthorne still maintains his sense of honor and duty as he said: “I don’t care what kind of savage wh**e, b**ch turd you are. Where I come from, we don’t leave a man behind.” While no one around him understood this highly insulting phrase, Blackthorne seemed to say these things just for his own amusement.

True to his word, Blackthorne found Rodrigues and, together with Kashigi Yabushige, brought him out of the water and back to safety. Even though Blackthorne had not been in Japan long, he was slowly figuring out the customs and traditions as he realized that Yabushige would never refuse a challenge in front of his men and was forced to make the perilous trip down to the water himself. While Blackthorne was a man of honor who would not “leave a man behind,” he was also quick-thinking and often found ways to ensure his own safety.

6

“You Black Eyed Son Of A S**t-Fested Wh**e”

Chapter Three: Tomorrow Is Tomorrow

After getting Lord Yoshii Toranaga on board the Black Ship, John Blackthorne once again encountered Vasco Rodrigues, whom he could not help but insult in his signature style. Blackohorne’s incredible way with words came with incredible phrases, like when he asked about the ship, “How fast can that b**tch go?” before calling Rodrigues a “black-eyed son of a sh**t-fested whore.” While Blackthorne’s insults were often very profane, the way he constructed sentences such as these had an odd sense of poetic beauty.

Although Blackthorne’s incredible skill for landing a fantastic insult usually fell on deaf ears, Rodrigues was one of the few who, despite their differences, could give as good as he got. Upon hearing this insult, he retorted, “Your lips are on the devil’s arse,” and Blackthorne was quick to respond, “They’re on your mother’s first.” It seemed that even back in the 1600s, sailors like Rodrigues and Blackthorne still knew the value of a good ‘yo momma’ joke.

5

“Only Women Drink From A Tiny Cup Like That”

Chapter Five: Broken to the Fist

John Blackthorne’s confusion whenever he encountered a new and unfamiliar Japanese ritual would often lead to hilarious insults in Shōgun, and one of the funniest came during the formal dinner with Buntaro, Mariko, and Fuji. Tensions were already high as Buntaro seethed with jealousy over the connection that Blackthorne and Mariko had formed, and this loomed ever larger as they drank sake together. With this in mind, Blackthorne could not help but comment, “You know where I come from; only women drink from a tiny cup like that,” in a highly taunting manner.

The Shōgun sake scene was an intense moment between Blackthorne and Buntaro as they exchanged their tiny sake cups for larger bowls and drank until both were unimaginably drunk. While this scene was funny at the beginning and represented the Japanese instinct never to back down, paired with a Western concept of fragile masculinity, it soon turned dark as Buntaro’s drunken state led to a perilous situation. Thankfully, Mariko survived, as Buntato instead took his aggression out on his wife.

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“You, Sir, Are A Silly Little Man! And Your Hair Looks Like The Tail Of A Pony!”

Chapter Three: Tomorrow Is Tomorrow

One of the funniest scenes in Shōgun came as John Blackthorne confronted a guard for leering at women’s bodies. In a hilarious, over-the-top outburst, which Blackthorne planned so the guards would not discover Toranaga, he played up the cultural differences between how women were treated in the West and how they were perceived in feudal Japan to let loose on an unsuspecting guard. While Blackthorne had some of the best quotes in Shōgun, describing this guard as a “silly man” whose “hair looks like the tail of a pony” was one of the most effective.

Out of the things that Blackthorne had seen during his time in Japan and the customs and traditions he had witnessed, it was hilarious how hung up he was on simple things like the samurai hairstyles. Blackthorne never gave up an opportunity to scream at the top of his lungs about all the aspects of Japan that continued to baffle him. This was one of Shōgun’s most comedic moments that proved Blackthorne did not have to be profane to utter his most memorable lines.

3

“So Sorry About Your Sack-Of-S**t Lord.”

Chapter One: Anjin

Although Shōgun was far from an outright comedy, John Blackthorne had so many hilarious lines and insults that it was impossible not to laugh throughout the ten-episode series. One of the funniest insults from Blackthorne came near the end of the first episode after Kashigi Yabushige attempted to climb down toward the ocean rocks, and his rope broke, and he fell to a near-certain death. As Blackthorne commented to Yabushige’s men, “So sorry about your sack-of-s**t lord,” he was speaking his mind out loud, knowing nobody could understand his true feelings.

This was a simple line but a highly effective insult delivered perfectly by Blackthorne’s actor, Cosmo Jarvis. While this was a highly intense scene, as it looked like Yabushige could very well be killed by the ocean, this line gave it a moment of brief levity. Following this, Yabushige would make it out alive with the help of Blackthorne, and the two characters would develop a begrudging respect for one another throughout Shōgun.

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“Pardon Me, And F**k Yourself, You Sniveling Little S**t Rag”

Chapter Four: The Eightfold Fence

The source of so many of John Blackthorne’s best insults came from knowing he could say whatever he wanted and nobody would understand what he meant. That’s why it was so hilarious when, in “Chapter Four: The Eightfold Fence,” Blackthorne stated with a smile to Kasigi Omi: “Pardon me, and f**k yourself, you sniveling little s**t rag.” While speaking like this public would surely get anyone else immediately executive, Blackthorne knew he could get away with it and said these insults directly to Omi-sama.

To make this even more hilarious, Omi-sama had his entire army with him, and this highly insulting phrase would have been akin to declaring war if only it had been understood. So many of Blackthorne’s insults were made even funnier because only Mariko knew precisely what he meant and how disrespectful he was. Mariko knew that accurately translating Blackthorne’s words would often lead to his death, so she mostly rephrased his sentences to sound more polite and in line with Japanese expectations.

1

“Tell This Milk-Dribbling F**k Smear I’m Ready To Go”

Chapter Four: The Eightfold Fence

The greatest of John Blackthorne’s insults came in “Chapter Four: The Eightfold Fence,” when Omi tried to take Blackthorne’s pistols from him and give them to Fuji for safekeeping. Blackthorne can’t help from holding back his disdain with a highly creative turn of phrase that stays with viewers long after the credits of Shōgun have rolled. In a true representation of pure disrespect, Blackthorne uttered the hilarious insulting phrase, “Tell this milk-dribbling f**k smear I’m ready to go,” which stood as everything great about a Blackthorne insult wrapped into one concise sentence.

Blackthorne’s highly insulting message to Omi was made even funnier when, instead of translating his sentence accurately, Mariko instead said: “With the utmost respect, the Anjin apologizes for the misunderstanding.” This protective instinct by Mariko made her dynamic with Blackthorne so intensely interesting that, without her guiding situations and picking and choosing which of Blackthorne’s communications to reveal, she kept him alive. Throughout Shōgun, Blackthorne had many incredible insults, but overall, this was truly the greatest.