The Roast of Tom Brady streamed live on Netflix on May 5, 2024 and left absolutely nothing on the field. The three-hour event was hosted by Kevin Hart and put the future Hall of Fame Quarterback Tom Brady on the hot seat where virtually no subject was completely off limits. Despite one moment in which Brady stood up to warn Jeff Ross not to touch on a certain subject regarding New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft, Brady and the panel of his former teammates and elite comedians delivered a hilarious event full of hard-hitting punchlines and killer cheap shots.

The panel of roasters included comedian and roastmaster Jeff Ross, seasoned roast battle veteran Nikki Glaser, celebrated comedic podcasters Andrew Shultz and Tony Hinchcliffe, and stand-up comics Bert Kreisher, Tom Segura, and Sam Jay. Many of Brady’s legendary former Patriots teammates were also in attendance and delivered incredible sets, such as Drew Bledsoe, Julian Edelman, and Randy Moss. Rob Gronkowski took just as many hits as Brady, leading to a hilarious set of his own. Even Ben Affleck showed up, and Will Ferrell appeared as Ron Burgundy from Anchorman to roast the NFL’s G.O.A.T. on Netflix.

15

Kevin Hart: “When You Got A Chance To Go 8-9 & All It Will Cost You Is Your Wife & Your Kids… You Gotta Do What The F–k You Gotta Do.”

Occurs around the 11 minute, 20 second mark

Kevin Hart set the tone early at The Roast of Tom Brady, making it clear from the start that no one would be going easy on him. Several roasters took advantage of Tom’s recent and very public split from his ex-wife Gisele Bündchen. The two got divorced in October 2022 after Brady chose to come out of retirement following his Super Bowl LV win with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in 2021, which earned him his seventh Super Bowl ring. Hart jokes that the decision ultimately backfired on Brady, who ruined a picture-perfect retirement story by coming back to the NFL, having a losing season, and ending up with a divorce.

14

Jeff Ross: “Tom, Your Teammates Are All Here At The Beautiful, Sold-Out Los Angeles Forum. By The Way, “Forum” Is Also How Rob Gronkowski Counts To Five.”

Occurs around the 22 minute, 30 second mark

The only person who may have taken more hits at The Roast of Tom Brady was his star tight end, Rob Gronkowski. The night was full of jabs at Gronkowski’s intelligence, few of which were better executed than Jeff Ross’s creative dig at Gronkowski’s ability to count. Ross gave a hilarious overall set, but his greatest highlight of the night was “Tom, your teammates are all here at the beautiful, sold-out Los Angeles Forum. By the way, “Forum” is also how Rob Gronkowski counts to five.” Ross added, “Four, um. Five, um.” to nail to joke home.

13

Drew Bledsoe: “Tom, I’m Really Glad That You Enjoyed All This Amazing Success With The Team That I Built. Super F–king Happy For You, Bud.”

Occurs around the 34 minute, 30 second mark

For those out of the loop of Patriots lore, Bledsoe was the starting quarterback of the team when Brady was drafted in the sixth round as a backup. Bledsoe was drafted as the number one overall pick in the first round of the 1993 NFL Draft and was the starting quarterback of the Patriots from 1993 until 2001. After Bledsoe had a gruesome injury during an NFL game in 2001, Brady stepped in at first to fill in for Bledsoe, but performed so well that he ended up taking his starting role and miraculously leading the Patriots to their first ever Super Bowl victory. It was the birth of Brady’s legend, but Bledsoe was dealt a tough hand.

12

Nikki Glaser: “Tom Also Lost $30 Million In Crypto. Tom, How Did You Fall For That? Even Gronk Was Like, “Me Know That Not Real Money”.”

Occurs around the 45 minute, 30 second mark

Nikki Glaser undoubtedly had one of the best sets of the night. Glaser has appeared on many roasts before, creating some of the greatest highlights for the roasts of Martha Stewart, Pete Davidson, Blake Griffin, Caitlyn Jenner, and more. It’s no surprise that Glaser came out smoking hot in The Roast of Tom Brady, taking a vicious jab at Gronkowski and Brady in the same breath. She torched Brady for losing tens of millions in cryptocurrency while also piling on the “Gronkowski’s dumb” theme of the night.

11

Sam Jay: “[Drew Bledsoe], The Only Ring You Have Is The One Tom Won For You. So Your Super Bowl Ring Is Just Like My Strap-On. Just Because You Wear It Doesn’t Make You Real.”

Occurs around the 1 hour, 14 minute mark

Even though Sam Jay is from Boston, the comedian pulled no stops on roasting the New England icon. Jay’s set was great through and through, but one line directed at Drew Bledsoe instantly become one of the earth-shattering moments of the night. Jay, who is a lesbian, compared her using a strap on as being the same as Drew Bledsoe wearing a Super Bowl ring, roasting him because he was not actually able to play on the championship team due to his injury. It was a brutal blow, but Bledsoe handled it like a true champ.

10

Bill Belichick: “People Have Said That Tom And I Have Butted Heads A Lot, And In A Way, That Was True, But Not Really. It Was Hard To Butt Heads With Tom Because He Was So Far Up Alex Guerrero’s A–.”

Occurs around the 1 hour, 36 minute mark

One of the most anticipated parts of The Roast of Tom Brady was discovering how Brady and Bill Belichick, the legendary coach of the New England Patriots from 2000 to 2023, would interact on stage. To their credit, both Brady and Belichick were great sports throughout the event and really leaned into the larger idea of the occasion, taking pretty sizable digs at one another. Belichick’s best joke tied in Brady’s alternative health advisor, counselor, and nutritionist Alex Guerrero, who largely inspired Brady’s TB12 health regimen, which other roasters noted has faced financial hardships.

9

Julian Edelman: “Look, A–hole [Bill Belichick], Foxborough High Is The Only Job Offer You F–king Had! Do Your Job? More Like Need A Job, Coach.”

Occurs around the 1 hour, 45 minute mark

One of Brady’s most celebrated wide receivers, Super Bowl MVP Julian Edelman, took full advantage of the free-for-all dynamic of the roast, getting back at Belichick for all those years of tough coaching. Edelman wasn’t the only one to make fun of Belichick’s recent unemployment status after getting fired as head coach of the Patirots by Robert Kraft only a few months aho in January 2024, but he certainly had the most fun with it. The fact that he was a former Patriots player, and not just a paid comedian, made the jab all the better, turning Belichick’s classic “Do Your Job” motto against him.

8

Tony Hinchcliffe: “Gronk, I’m Glad You Could Take A Break From Writing Santa Letters To Be Here Today. I Knew You Were Here When We Were All Out Of Chocolate Milk Backstage.”

Occurs around the 1 hour, 55 minute mark

Tony Hinchcliffe delivered a full-throttle roast that mostly focused on his fellow comedians, but he was able to achieve one of the best roasts of Gronk of the night. Another dig of the “Gronk is dumb” variety, Hinchcliffe had a hilarious line that equated the future Hall of Fame tight end to a mindless child. Hinchcliffe said, “Gronk, I’m glad you could take a break from writing Santa letters to be here today. I knew you were here when we were all out of chocolate milk backstage.” That ended up being one of Hinchliffe’s milder jokes of the night.

7

Rob Gronkowski Spikes A Shot Glass On Stage

Occurs around the 2 hour, 12 minute mark

Gronk delivered a hilarious 10-minute set of his own, targeting Brady, Belichick, and even, at one point, Brady’s sisters. Gronk noted that he had never had a drink with either Brady or Belichick before, which is unbelievable considering all they had accomplished. Brady doesn’t drink much, or shower with the team apparently, and knowing Belichick, drinking with his players was not the vibe he wanted to give off. Gronk, Brady, and Belichick all took a long-overdue celebratory shot, which ended with Gronk’s iconic spike end zone celebration with the shot glass to the horror of Kevin Hart.

6

Robert Kraft: “In Case, Vladamir Putin, You’re Watching, Give Me My F–king Ring Back”

Occurs around the 2 hour, 28 minute mark

Even Patriots owner Robert Kraft showed up fully for the event, taking a few jabs at Belichick. He went light on the Brady jokes for the most part, and held a sincere toast to honor Brady towards the end of the night full of cheap shots. Before he was done, Kraft looked straight into the camera and called out Valdamir Putin of all people, telling him to give him one of his Super Bowl rings back. Reportedly, Kraft gave Putin one of his rings in 2005 as a symbol of respect and the Patriots’ owner has yet to get it back.

5

Bill Belichick and Robert Kraft Take A Shot On Stage

Occurs around the 2 hour, 30 minute mark

One of the greatest improvised moments of the night was the unexpected shot that Belichick took with Kraft. While very few verbal shots were directly fired between them, particularly because they were seated at opposite ends of the Forum, Kevin Hart inspired the two Patriots legends to take a shot together. Belichick was reluctant at first, which is understandable due to the awkward circumstances, but surprisingly, the two clinked glasses onstage with Brady watching behind them. This likely won’t settle all their differences, but it was certainly an iconic moment.

4

Peyton Manning: “One Thing That Tom And I Definitely Have In Common Is Our Love Of The Game Of Golf. My Handicap Is A 6.4, While Tom’s Handicap Is Blowing Leads In The Super Bowl To My Brother, Eli.”

Occurs around the 2 hour, 42 minute mark

The last roaster of the night is no stranger to roasts, having been a part of the dias on the Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe in 2016. Despite being former NFL rivals, Manning and Brady are friends and golf buddies in real life, which makes Manning’s jabs at Brady even more delightful. Manning couldn’t end the night without personally reminding Brady of his not one, but two Super Bowl losses to his brother Eli Manning’s New York Giants in 2007 and 2011. The only thing that could have been better was if Eli went out to pour salt on the wound.

3

Tom Brady: “I’ll Always Remember Where I Was That Fateful Day In September Of 2001 When Tragically, Those Two Jets Slammed Into Drew Bledsoe.”

Occurs around the 2 hour, 45 minute mark

In true G.O.A.T. fashion, Brady still wouldn’t allow himself to be outroasted at his own roast. Brady shockingly delivered one of the most unhinged jokes of the night at Drew Bledsoe, inspiring roastmaster Jeff Ross to give him a standing ovation. This was just the start of Brady’s defense at his roast, laying it back on everyone who had came for him earlier in the Netflix special. Brady proved he was a great sport throughout the event and also said a few more wild things before the night was over.

2

Tom Brady: “Remember Deflategate? The NFL Spent $20 Million & Found It Was More “Probable” Than Not That I Was “Generally” Aware That Someone May Have Deflated My Footballs. You Could Have Just Given Me The $20 Million & I Would Have Just Told You I F–king Did It.”

Occurs around the 2 hour, 52 minute mark

Brady fired back at Roger Goodell, the commissioner of the NFL, and the notorious Deflategate scandal in the final moments of his roast. Brady roasted Goodell and the NFL for spending tens of millions of dollars on investigating the Deflategate scandal, which ultimately left Brady suspended for four games, while the Patriots organization was fined $1 million and was forced to forfeit two draft picks in 2016. Brady told Goodell he would have admitted to it all if he had been offered the $20 million, jokingly “confessing” to being in on the scandal.

1

Tom Brady: “Everybody Asks Me Which Ring Is My Favorite. I Used To Say “The Next One.” But Now That I’m Retired, My Favorite Ring Is The Camera That Caught Coach Belichick Slinking Out Of That Poor Girl’s House At 6 A.M. A Few Months Ago. Hey, You Still Got It!”

Occurs around the 2 hour, 54 minute mark

The greatest moment of The Roast of Tom Brady was saved for last, and in true Brady style, the quarterback sealed the victory in the final minutes of regulation. Brady took a hilarious jab at Belichick, bringing up an alleged incident from summer 2023 in which Belichick was caught on a Ring home security camera leaving someone’s house without a shirt on. While Belichick never confirmed whether it was him in the video, he did laugh at Brady’s joke, which ended The Roast of Tom Brady on a high note.