Nostalgia is a cruel mistress, especially when it comes to television. Attempting to revisit shows that once seemed so fresh and vital is sure to put a damper on anyone’s day, especially those hailing from an era before serialized plotting. Hollywood, however, has never gotten the hint, and especially in the early 90s, they attempted to bring just about every TV property they could get their hands on to the big screen.
Though a fair few of these have landed with audiences (2000’s Charlie’s Angels, 2012’s 21 Jump Street), most have been embarrassing duds that make us wonder why we even enjoyed their source material in the first place. Below, are 10 of the worst small to big-screen adaptations.
The Beverly Hillbillies (1993)
When country bumpkin Jed Clampett (Jim Varney) inadvertently strikes oil on his land, he and his kinfolk to relocate to sunny Beverly Hills, California, to the chagrin of their affluent neighbors and the conniving banker (Dabney Coleman) tasked with handling the Clampetts and their new money.
Penelope Spheeris (Wayne’s World) and a team of four credited writers utterly squander a cast of comedy all-stars, including Cloris Leachman and Lily Tomlin.
Car 54, Where Are You? (1994)
Mismatched New York City cops, Gunther Toody (David Johansen) and Francis Muldoon (John C. McGinley), are assigned to guard a witness (Jeremy Piven) due to testify against mobster Don Motti (Daniel Baldwin) in this adaptation of the long-forgotten 1960s television series.
Not only does nearly no one remember the original series it’s based on, but Car 54, Where Are You? is a crude buddy cop comedy that’s lower-tier even among crude buddy cop comedies.
The Avengers (1998)
When the maniacal Sir August de Wynter (Sean Connery) creates a device that controls the weather, it’s up to posh secret agents John Steed (Ralph Fiennes) and Emma Peel (Uma Thurman) to stop him from using it to hold the world hostage.
This overblown misfire tries to resurrect the swinging 60s spy series, but Thurman and Fiennes lack chemistry and the gonzo production design is more garish than stylish.
Wild Wild West (1999)
President Ulysses S. Grant (Kevin Kline) teams up with Civil War hero James West (Will Smith) when he catches wind of the diabolical Dr. Arliss Loveless’ (Kenneth Branagh) plan to assassinate him.
Barry Sonnenfeld’s bloated, overwritten (another bad film with no less than four credited screenwriters) spectacle has amassed a small cult following in the past two decades, but aside from an all-star cast and some none-too-shabby effects, there’s nothing to see here.
The Mod Squad (1999)
Three young soon-to-be jailbirds (Claire Danes, Omar Epps, and Giovanni Ribisi) are given an ultimatum: go undercover to bust some drug dealers that are preying on teens, or do their time, in this big-screen treatment of the hip hit TV show.
Scott Silver’s update of the counterculture classic isn’t just full of bad performances and distracting stylization, it’s totally square.
Starsky And Hutch (2004)
Ben Stiller stars as the tightly wound workaholic David Starsky opposite Owen Wilson as the cool and collected Ken Hutchinson in recent Oscar nominee Todd Phillips take on the classic buddy cop series.
Not nearly the worst TV to film adaptation of a popular retro series, Starsky and Hutch is still notable for its just okay-ness. The fact that, between this, and a filmography full of obnoxious comedies, Phillips got anyone to take him seriously enough that he nabbed an Oscar nom, is a stunning hat trick.
The Dukes Of Hazzard (2005)
Good ol’ boys Bo and Luke Duke (Seann William Scott, Johnny Knoxville) find their days of transporting moonshine threatened when the nasty Boss Hogg (Burt Reynolds) starts selling land to evil coal miners. It’s up to the Dukes, their uncle Jesse (Willie Nelson) and cousin Daisy (Jessica Simpson) to stop the dastardly plan.
The Dukes of Hazzard has aged the worst out of any TV series on this list (Confederate Flag paint jobs, yikes!), but the 2005 film adaptation is even worse: a half-baked and braindead string of setups existing solely to stage forgettable car chases.
The Honeymooners (2005)
Ralph Kramden (Cedric the Entertainer) is a New York City bus driver yearning for something more, but he and his best friend Ed’s (Mike Epps) whacky plans never pan out. When their wives, Alice (Gabrielle Union) and Trixie (Regina Hall), pool their savings to buy up some land in the suburbs, the two men’s latest scheme might just blow up in all their faces.
The Honeymooners has also aged poorly for its sexism and use of domestic violence as a punchline, but hailing from the 1950s, its issues are somewhat more excusable. However, that does 2005’s The Honeymooners zero favors, which, beyond its generic setup and so-so writing, can’t convince its audience that Cedric the Entertainer and Mike Epps are the modern-day equivalents of the legendary duo, Jackie Gleason and Art Carney.
Land Of The Lost (2009)
When scientist Rick Marshall (Will Ferrell) and his cohorts (Anna Friel, Danny McBride) find themselves transported to a primordial world populated by dinosaurs and villainous humanoid lizards, they have to rely on their smarts and a primate named Chaka (Jorma Taccone) to stay alive and get themselves back to the Earth they know.
Will Ferrell reaches maximum irritation in this more adult adaptation of the beloved family show.
CHiPs (2017)
Jon is a former biker attempting to put his life back together. Frank is a wiseacre undercover agent investigating a heist. The two are forced into an uneasy partnership when they join the California Highway Patrol, but can they put aside their differences and work together?
No doubt inspired by the runaway success of 2012’s 21 Jump Street, CHiPs jettisons the squeaky clean optimism of the original series for a low-brow tone that insults its source material.
