10 Far Side Characters That Are Absolutely Doomed

Over the course of its run in syndication, The Far Side depicted many characters facing their imminent deaths, usually unsuspectingly about to meet their doom for comedic effect. Gary Larson’s comic masterpiece was known to swing wildly from goofy to bleak on a panel-to-panel basis, but it was at its best when it found the perfect middle ground between the two.

Far Side characters frequently faced oblivion at sea, at the end of the world, and often even in their own homes. The world of Gary Larson’s imagination proved from the very start of the comic’s publication to be a dark, scary, and random place; a “Twilight Zone” of sorts, ruled only by the whim of the absurd. As much as some of Larson’s characters brought their fates upon themselves, many more were just as subject to forces outside their control – that is, the caprice of a hilarious, if macabre, creator.

10
This Captain Would Be Lucky Just To Lose A Leg

First Published: January 3, 1980

The Far Side immediately acclimated readers to its dark sense of humor with panels like this one, which features a hapless fisherman almost certainly about to be taken out by the whale he has made the mistake of harpooning. Larson also quickly established his signature visual composition style – in this case, with the negative space around the drawing representing the vastness of the sea, and the hopelessness of the harpooner’s plight. The visible look of indignant rage on the whale’s face is also an early indicator of Far Side’s frequent use of anthropomorphic animals.

9
Maybe Call The Landlord About That Noise Complaint

First Published: February 14, 1980

The Far Side’s inaugural Valentine’s Day installment is also one of the first in which the forces of darkness appear. Gary Larson frequently depicted daily life in Hell itself, though here a demon has been summoned by its cult of worshipers in an upstairs apartment – evidently a process that caused quite a bit of racket, prompting the downstairs neighbor to head for his front door, ready to complain, and completely unprepared for the gruesome fate he is likely to be walking straight into.

8
The Far Side’s Depths Are Even More Dangerous Than The Real Ocean

First Published: April 23, 1980

Gary Larson frequently endowed inanimate objects with life in The Far Side, though here, that means a watery demise for this scuba diver, as a school of scissors swim directly for his air supply line, about to sever his connection to the surface. Unlike many of the entries on this list, this entry has the added horror of the character’s realization that doom is upon him, as he looks up and lets out what can only be assumed to be a scream, his last words translating into nothing more than a stream of bubbles.

7
This Poor Bear Thinks That’s A Telescope

First Published: May 5, 1981

Gary Larson was unquestionably an animal lover, but just as often as animals were the danger in many Far Side strips, they were also often in peril themselves. In what is among the bleakest Far Side panels not to use any caption, a seemingly good-natured bear offers a friendly wave to a nearby human – who is looking at him through the sites of a rifle, ready to pull the trigger. In this way, Larson comments on the one-sided brutality of hunting for sport; unlike many of the human characters on this list who don’t understand what is about to happen, this bear can’t understand.

6
Apparently, The Center Really Cannot Hold

First Published: January 7, 1982

Unlike the other entries on this list, the character here is the Crisis Center building itself, along with those individuals presumably trapped inside of it. This Far Side installment perfectly captures the essence of the question, “what else could possibly go wrong?” as the Center, ostensibly a place designed to offer support to those suffering a crisis, is found in the middle of its own outrageous calamity. As the building burns, fire bursting from many of its windows, it has also somehow, absurdly, found its way hurtling down a river toward a perilous waterfall.

5
Ernie Is Going To Get Eaten, No Doubt About It

First Published: October 21, 1982

The only thing that could make being attacked by an alligator – during an attempt to take a serene boating trip – worse for the victim would be to have incorrect, unhelpful advice shouted at them as they try to avoid a gruesome death. Alligators are known for their infamous “death roll,” which they pull their prey under the surface of the water and twist rapidly, drowning the victim; alligators are not known for being warded off with belly rubs – suggesting that Ernie has very little hope of making it out of this moment unscathed.

4
Its Never A Good Sign When The Line Goes Taut

First Published: December 6, 1982

Several years into The Far Side’s run, Gary Larson returned to the idea of the doomed scuba diver – this time trapped in the clutches of an octopus, as his hapless cohorts back on the boat fail to realize the severity of the situation below the surface. Once again, Larson’s diver is fully aware of his dire predicament, as he futilely struggles to escape the sea creature’s clutches, while above his friends note that “he never said nothing about one long, steady pull,” indicating they have no idea what is happening beneath the water.

3
Sometimes There’s No Outrunning The Inevitable

First Published: December 7, 1982

Similar to the first entry on this list, this Far Side installment features its characters – in this case, ants – suffering destruction as a result of encountering a much larger beast. Here, a human being casually steps on the back of a line of ants, while those at the front admonish the ants following them to, “knock off that crunching noise!,” unaware of the sickening truth of what it is. The four ants depicted here are without a doubt going to be crunched under the human’s other foot in the immediate aftermath of this panel, insuring that no survivors from their expedition will return to the colony.

2
Make Sure To Go Over The Rules Of A Duel Several Times In Advance

First Published: January 18, 1983

Perhaps the most overtly tragic of the death and despair cataloged throughout this list, this panel captures the dying moments of a gunfighter in the aftermath of a duel, revealing that a costly miscommunication with his second resulted in a lethal shot directly through the heart. “I…could…have…sworn…you…said…eleven…steps,” the mortally wounded man stammers, as his friend tenderly holds him, and his opponent stands in the distance, triumphant. Though the character’s fate may have come as a surprise, once again, Laron’s humor is tinged with the uneasiness of watching the end approach.

1
Maybe Think About That Question & Ask It Again – If There’s Time

First Published: February 2, 1983

By inference, the assumption that this plane includes passengers makes this the deadliest, most shocking Far Side panel collected here. As the clouds part, the plane’s pilots see something unexpected – a mountain goat, revealing they are about to hit the associated mountain. While the humor comes from the fact that the pilots are slow to realize they’re doomed, the horror comes from the idea that any passengers would meet this catastrophy completely unaware. As with all of The Far Side’s darkest panels, the reader can’t help but laugh through the discomfort, as only creator Gary Larson could make them.