Content Warning: The following article contains spoilers for South Park: Post Covid 1 & 2, as well as discussions of alcoholism, drugs, suicide, and racism.
South Park was able to wrap up 2021’s wild and often disturbing events in a brilliantly comedic way through its two Post Covid TV movies. The duology’s biting satire is the perfect way to capture what most of the popular series’ fans have probably been feeling for the past few years.
There’s no shortage of hilarious and sometimes even surprisingly profound quotes from the movies. From Randy’s cynical statements about the future to Stan’s twisted rationalization of his alcoholism, Post-Covid paints a dark picture of the characters’ fates in a world dominated by capitalistic greed and a never-ending pandemic.
Eric Cartman:
“Kyle, You Really Think I Would Spend 40 Years Of My Life Just To Get A Rise Out Of You?”
Cartman has done some petty things to exact revenge on his friends, which is why it’s not surprising that Kyle doubts his newfound faith. As children, Cartman’s anti-Semitic views caused fights between him and Kyle, so it’s hard for Kyle to believe that his bully has somehow turned into a well-respected rabbi.
Audiences can’t be blamed for not knowing what to think during the first confrontation between the two in Post Covid. Cartman seems genuinely disappointed that Kyle doesn’t believe him and it’s shocking to eventually realize that in that timeline, he really does become a religious leader and a good father.
Denny’s Applebee’s Max Waiter:
“Now, Of Course, It Is The Future So We Don’t Have Any Meat On The Menu. ‘Cause You Know, Here In The Future, We’ve All Decided Meat Is Wrong.”
One of the best running gags in the duology is how the characters repeatedly refer to their present as “the future.” The often sarcastic comments about their time revolve around extremes, which is first seen from a Denny’s Applebee’s Max employee when he unenthusiastically takes Kyle and Stan’s orders.
Other instances of the movies criticizing their own dystopian setting include Jimmy’s comment about the future’s extreme political correctness and a clerk’s remarks about how they “only take Bitcoin” because everyone in the future believes “centralized banking is rigged” and would rather “trust more in fly-by-night Ponzi schemes.”
Stan Marsh:
“It’s Not ‘Pounding Beer And Wine,’ I Drop Wine Shots Into The Beer – It’s Called A ‘Smorgasvein’ And It’s Very Cultural!”
Stan’s gig as an “online whiskey consultant” is obviously a lame attempt at concealing his debilitating alcoholism. After he accidentally kills his sister and inadvertently causes his mom’s suicide, it’s the only way he manages to keep going – that and his Alexa.
The future seems bright for artificial intelligence, depending on how one looks at it. Stan’s Alexa is able to call him out on his problematic behavior, which includes the way he turns to alcohol whenever something stressful happens. Stan’s pathetic excuse about a “Smorgasvein” is a direct callback to the same defense Randy used when Sharon would berate him.
Clyde Donovan:
“I Know, But I Read That Sometimes In The Lab Where The Vaccine Is Made, If Somebody Ate Shellfish, Then It Can Get Cross-Contaminated And Have Leftover Residual Shellfish-Ness.”
Clyde has quickly become one of the worst recurring characters in South Park thanks to his infuriating actions in the Post Covid movies. Everyone in town is vaccinated except for him, but he doesn’t seem to care that he causes a lockdown, prevents his friends from learning more about Kenny’s death, and is generally a nuisance throughout the films.
His alleged shellfish allergy excuse is quickly shot down by the group who inform him there is no shellfish in the vaccine. They all conclude that Clyde “won’t take the COVID vaccine out of shellfish-ness,” which the dim-witted character agrees with.
Randy Marsh:
“And Then Just When It Seemed Like We’d Turned A Corner, Space Jam 2 Came Out, And We All Just Kind Of Gave Up. What We Lost, Stan, Was Our Tegridy.”
When Randy tries to explain exactly why the future turned out the way it did, he makes a gut-busting parallelism between terrible events and the disastrous release of Space Jam 2. He details how “Americans went through so much,” which include the election of an incompetent president and violent race wars.
Randy places emphasis on Space Jam 2’s role in the complete loss of “Tegridy” of the Americans. In fact, the movie takes it further by presenting an alternate timeline where Space Jam 2 never happened, which ties in with the happier and more peaceful version of the future.
Hackelm Cartman:
“F**k You, Uncle Kyle!”
The best Kyle and Cartman episodes almost always feature fights between the two, which usually prompt Cartman to curse at Kyle. The iconic way he says “f**k you, Kyle” is hilariously passed onto his youngest child, Hackelm, who can’t say “Uncle Kyle” without profanity.
The funniest instance of the line from Hackelm is undoubtedly the scene where the child tugs on the lever of the time machine, unwittingly sending Clyde back to the past despite the group’s protests. It’s the young Cartman’s last and most damaging action before being permanently wiped out of existence in the movie.
Butters Stotch / Victor Chaos:
“I’m Gonna Let You In On A Little Secret. I’m Gonna Tell You Something That’s Going To Change Your Life. Have You Ever Heard Of NFTs?”
Butters’ severe trauma after being “grounded in his room for over 16 years” has led to his total transformation into Victor Chaos in Post Covid. Unlike Butters, who Vic thinks of as “a twerpy little loser kid whose parents didn’t love him,” Chaos is notorious for being able to convince anyone he meets to invest in NFTs.
The franchise’s witty satirical commentary on the absurdity of the hype around NFTs is perfectly delivered through Butters’ devious marketing tactics. People who fall for his tricks lose their homes, families, and are even murdered over a “little green panda bear on a skateboard.”
Eric Cartman:
“The Foundation Against Time Travel Must Do Everything To Keep Science From Interfering With The Will Of God. We Must Be Willing To Use Violence Against Violence, And Stop Time Travel At All Costs, Even If That Means We Have To Time Travel.”
Despite his impressive new personality after starting his own family and becoming a rabbi, Cartman can’t help but be pulled back into his evil ways after encountering Kyle. His old rival’s plan of altering the past to make the future better threatens Cartman’s current life with Yentl and their children.
His speech about how his congregation should be prepared to “use violence against violence” is full of contradictions, but as long as it means he can protect his family, Cartman will hurt and manipulate whoever he has to along the way.
Randy Marsh:
“The Truth Is… My Time Is Very Short Here. I Just Wish I Could Have Left Something Behind That Mattered.”
A rare philosophical moment in South Park happens when Randy finally faces the fact that Tegridy weed has nothing to do with Kenny’s miraculous invention. After decades of blaming Kyle for Sharon and Shelly’s deaths, Randy takes a long hard look at his own actions with the pangolin in China, which started the pandemic.
As an old man, Randy was hoping he could do one last good thing to undo all the damage he caused. The moving scene leads to his admission that no one can “go back and change the past,” so he forgives Stan, and hopefully himself at that moment.
Stan Marsh:
“We Can’t Ever Stop COVID From Happening, But What We Can Control Is How We All Reacted To It.”
Despite all of its wild twists and turns, the Post COVID movies end on a surprisingly touching note when the gang manages to reconcile before the pandemic starts. Thanks to a few changes and a ton of Tegridy weed, people become more forgiving and understanding throughout the health crisis.
Stan captures these changes through his line about how their reactions to COVID ultimately affect how their relationships turn out in the future. It’s a powerful message that’s relevant today and a poignant reminder to “come together” and “just cut each other some slack.”
